beautiful//

moved

2006-06-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

MOVED.
-&&& what you see here will only contain links.

Tag me back at xanga thank you.:)
Will not be back for posting. CLICK HERE TO GO BACK TO XANGA.

Have loads of fun figuring. HAHA. I know it's that annoying but it's my last resort. Apologies.

of wishlists and bashes.

2005-07-04T20:46:00.000+08:00

because i am bored, i'm gonna make a wishlist. (x

prisca's wishlist
1. blythe doll/purse
2. jamie cullum cd
3. a nice cd? HAHA.
4. a MP3 (a rather good investment)
5. throw me a surprise dinner with the people i love.
6. a good book.
7. tote (seriously cos my bags are shits)
8. crabtree and evelyn (anything you want la, i'm not picky)
9. funky earrings. HA.
10. above all, all i want is a simple birthday wish from YOUALLKNOWWHO.

<3

it's gonna be a HUGEEE, BIG, BASH.
of being sixteen and sounding old.

BOREDOM

2005-06-30T21:20:00.000+08:00

i am bored and there is seriously nothing to do! i won't want to do math, it's UTTERLY BORING SHIATE. and my english file is like bloody missing! OH SHITSHIT.
and yes, i think i'll get slaughtered by mr koh tomorrow. God bless my soul. ):
AND WHAT'S WITH THE DOGGY PICTURES THESE DAYS? OH CRAP, LOOK, I CAN'T SWIM NOW. FUH-REAKING SHAITE, I'M GONNA HOLLER AND DIE OF SORETHROAT.

PLEASE KILL ME COS I AM REALLY DYING OF BOREDOM. HURHURHUR.

I DONT WANNA!

2005-06-27T20:00:00.000+08:00

NO, i so hate going overseas now. SHITSHITSHIT, i don't wanna miss this thing, it's means so much to me!
GAWDDDDD. but maybe i'll just go BUYBUYBUY and just enjoy the luxurious moment of being on a holiday.
OHHAMMGEEEEEE.
i soooooo cannot believee it please?
CAN YOU JUST BLEDDDY KILL ME NOW. =/

2005-06-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

I AM BORED. VERY BORED.
~~and boredom kills. utterly.~~
i don't know what's wrong with everybody, or is it just me? yeah i guess so.
MAYBE I JUST CAN'T WAIT for ~~saturday night.~~ (:
am i the happiest girl in the world now? yeah, i guess so. :D:D

maybe i should just relax and chill, seriously. i get rather hyped up nowadays, for no rhyme or reason. HAHA, maybe i'm just like that. OOOH, and hiphop class? i don't like the masterclass cos we're gonna have stupid warmups and shitty walkdowns again, i hate it like hell. @!#%$*%&^@!! hahaha. (: anyways, tomorrow's performance, i hope i so don't screw up, i look in front and i look like as if i enjoyed it (even though i so do not), and yes, hope everything goes well for tomorrow (friday, 24thjune) and saturday. (:

details:
friday; performance: 2-4pm at PayaLebar Methodist Church, plus five bucks if you want to join the master class and lunch is PROVIDED.
saturday; church plaza/tentage at 5.30pm, 5.15pm is the intro/beginner class.

AND I DONT LIKE THE INTRO CLASS COS THEY DIDNT CHEER FOR US, WHAT A BUNCH. ):
i did cheer for them though they screwed up kayy, see, i'm NICE. (x hahaha.
shit, i just wanna die now cos i look badbad, UGH. and i am so gonna be late if i don't sleep now ):
I NEED MY BEAUTAYYE SLEEP, FOR BETTER HYDRATION AND COMPLEXION. -according to sarah sam. (:
I LOVE MY SWEETLOVE! <3
hugs.

ciao, mademoiselles, merci!

FREAK YOU, SHIT.

2005-06-19T22:20:00.000+08:00

i sometimes wish that i could make dland more like blogger, but in some case, i cant, at all.

just like how i wanted some things to be a certain way, it's beyond my control. trying to let go on something so vague would be the easiest, but for myself, it's so hard. i never wanted to annoy myself with such things, never mind what else happens. but i can't seem to ignore them. it's this affairs of the heart that i'm so plagued with, maybe i'll never be able to find the one meant for me.
i'm so broken inside.
Lord come fill me now. i really wish for a miracle to happen now- i can't seem to forget him. tell me i never really liked him please. i'm really so upset now i could just fall off the building dead. the whole world wants a piece of him, but no matter what, he'll ne oh-so-out-of-reach from me, prisca.
i feel so damn useless.

IF THEY WERE ALL YELLOW.

i just wish i didn't see him at all, i wish i didn't take notice of how good he looked. i just wish all this could just come to an end, i just wish everything would just die off, even my feelings for him. am i supposed to wait another ten, twenty years?
forget it, life sucks as it already did.
i'm crying like crazy, but does he bother to open the window and say, are you alright? no. all he wants is just his love. all he wants is just his ego. all he wants is just him, himself and himself. how selfish can he get. DSAKDJKJGWINV;AOKROP303. if only he took notice of someone like me.

I WISHED THAT I COULD JUST FORGET HIM LIKE I NEVER KNEW HIM.
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO HAPPEN? DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN FOR A REASON? DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN LIKE I WANTED IT TO BE? DAMN, I WONDER WHY DID I EVEN HAVE THIS HUGE MAJOR RAVE AND CRAZE ABOUT SUCH A FELLA.
WHY DID I EVEN CARE?

GIVE ME A BREAK, @#^&$%*.

CUT OFF ALL TIES FROM ME.
-PRIS

miss.

2005-06-19T20:10:00.000+08:00

i miss you like crazy. <3
-Pris

prisca- BACK IN ACTION?

2005-05-12T21:33:00.000+08:00

thus, you find me here again. when it's time to let go, i don't! HOW BAD CAN THIS BE.
but obviously, i can't because i feel like some memories stored here can't be erased; it feels like part of me was here, now moved on, but when i think back, it's great, you know.

AH WELLLS. forget it. change this WHOLE thing again. i think i'll leave here as a SHOUTOUT diary, or something i can pen my beautiful but depressing thoughts down, while the other remains as a public one.

YESYES.i like pul-chritude. a lot.
but i feel like changing it to either-
x- littledrummergirl-
x- metamorphosis-
x- blytheobsessions
x- wordlessinvisiblity--
HOW. too many choices, i'm spoilt for them.
AHHH, gonna go shop for earrings tomorrow,
I DONT CARE ANYMORE. YAYYY.
<3

just about dreams and everything NICE.

2005-05-07T09:16:00.000+08:00

beautiful One, i love You
beautiful One, i adore
beautiful One, my soul must sing.

my soul, my soul must sing.

indeed. my soul must sing, for He is Christ, our Lord and Saviour, the one we should embrace.
it's somewhat a amazing to see how fast time flies, and when it really does fly away, you feel guilty and upset you didn't make GOOD use of the time. studying for the exams is like- crazy. i have to put in so much effort- worse still, i have YET to study for anything seriously, YET. so am i guilty of bad time management? YES.

anyhow, i dreamt about michelle and amy while in dreamland. michelle liked this pearl necklace, so i decided that since she liked i might as well just get it for her (and i suppose it was her birthday period or something). so when she went to the dressing room with amy, i took the necklace and all, packaged it and probably paid (i don't remember paying....). amy came out first, i went into hiding before michelle came out. then somehow, michelle went, 'OH MY GOD. please dont tell me you....' and i went, what? then i looked at michelle's top, she was wearing this stupid shirt on top laa. (x anyhoo, then sabrina came in too? so complicating. then went for payment, it was a long queue. michelle said, 'if you are seriously going to get that for me, i'm gonna.... (shall not list the details cos i think it's a bit too gory for passer-bys, even worse when you are clicking around.)' anyhoo.
the dream is so retarded. i know! hahaha. but you can't blame me dreaming about such things. LORL. probably because... i owe them something? i don't know. i'm just SOOO happy about next week, THURSDAY. friday my rest, probably out again for breakfast or something?? haha. someone date me out please. i'm borEd. SUPER BORED.

ah wells. perhaps i'm just crapping cos i really don't know what am i supposed to do. my mind's in a big, messed up WHIRL.
damn the WHIRL.

(=
<3xoxox

just me and my serbudes.

2005-04-26T18:08:00.000+08:00

one hundred and thirty.
that's how many blog entries i have. pretty amazing. i just come online almost everyday and all i do is just do things that i'm not supposed to do. UGH.

anyhow. perhaps i'll just leave this by it's own. when's it's gonna be deleted, my memories of this will be gone too.
i love my pul-chritude,
but it's all gone with a click on the delete button.

maybe memories won't hurt so bad when i'm done with life?
or when i forget about them?

they always say, ignorance is bliss. i agree. it feels so darn hard to put your heart and soul in something you already know won't bear fruit and still do it? maybe that's what's happening to me now. i pretty much hate myself for being so obsessed, but at the other hand, i'm glad i saw such a cool thing. (:

see you- my pul-chritude.

switched.

2004-12-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

hey everyone! i switched blog. if you see this, please re-link and put this address:
http://stripkdteaz-.diaryland.com

thanks!

fiftytwo.nonsense.

2004-12-02T13:52:00.000+08:00

#o1. name: prisca.
#o2. single or taken: single. (:
#o3. sex : does my name tell you that i'm male?
#o4. age: shhhhhss..... fifteen!
#o5. eye colour: brown. *grins*
#o6. hair colour: dark brown and black.
+relationships +
#o7. do u have a bf/gf: nope. hey! i told you i was single!!
#o8. do u have crush: *shrugs*
+fashion+
#o9. your favorite place to shop: erm, town? well. chidlom actually. (:
#1o. your favourite shop: somewhere in thailand. (:
#11. your favourite brands: erm. i wear anything. doh!!!
#12. your favourite branded brand: er. dior?
#13. have tattoos or piercings: one on each side.(: pretty!
+specifics+
#14. what's your job: currently studying. but looking for one... anyone?
#15. do u do drugs: no. i wouldn't.
#16. what shampoo do u use: silkpro. whEE.
#17. what are u scared of the most: cockroaches, rats, and walking by myself? heh.
#18. who is the last person that called? daddy. to ask me something.
#19. the last person who sms'ed you?: eunice chow!
+favourites+
#2o. colour: black;red;blue;yellow;pink;orange;brown........
#21. food: tomyum, lemongrasstea? and err... anything with chili written over it. (:
#22. guy's name: how would i know? eemm, maybe something from the bible la.
#23. gurl's name: prisca! or maybe liv. heh..
#24. subjects in school: english and bio! whEEEE.
#25. teacher: i don't know. mrs kwok?
#26. place: home? no. thailand. or lijiang? (:
#27. animal: cats. haha.
#28. sports: anything not related to running or basketball.(:
#29. drink: lemongrass tea and water.
#3o. you wish you could live somewhere: lijiang! or thailand.... nice.
#31. you think about suicide: nope. i'm living for the moment.
#32. you believe in online dating : not.
#33. others find you attractive: not.
#34. you want more piercings: not.
#35. you drink: not.
#36. you smoke: not.
#37. you do drugs: not.
#38. you like cleaning: not. unless i'm really upset!
#39. you like roller coasters: obviously.
#4o. you act loud/quiet in a crowd: loud. no, quiet. no, loud. whatever!!
#41. ever cried over a girl/boy: i thought so.
#42. ever cheated over a boy/girl: not.
#43. ever lied to someone and felt guily: sometimes.
#44. ever been arrested: not.
+number+
#45. of times i have had my heart broken: ......what question is this?
#46. of hearts i have broken: none.
#47. of girls i've slept with: *daengg* never once!
#48. of boys i've slept with: repeated.
#49. of drugs taken illegaly: medicine?
#5o. of people i consider my enemies: i shall hate no one........
#51. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: i wish. haha.
#52. of times you made a fool of yourself in public: it's quite horrible..............

adventures of the goer.

2004-11-30T17:27:00.000+08:00

as continued....
dayeight
five people are off to singapore.... so goodbye to them!! this means more space, more peace and more heaters! actually. it has really been a fruitful trip! (: on the way to the old town...... for more ethnic clothes, more things that we wanted to get, cos we never explored the place! got some stuffs for my friends *hint* and yes, i can finally say that i love lijiang!! can't get to eat the mahla hot pot... but we still had a greaattt time! i never knew that the taxi meters would jump so fast. from six to 6.80, 7.20 then to 9.20! it jumps so quickly can?! we had a bit of entertainment talking to the kids. haha. then before dinner, we walked to this fast food restaurant to see Peli's picture. so funny!! ask yahui to show you... heee. the portion was super large... argh, i don't like the super big portions!! so we had a fellowship time with the sec students... after that we talked about the whole trip after the students left. whEE, so much to talk about!

daynine
gave the kids the pictures, and the matron and principal sent us off! can't seem to find the person who did the darwing candy in Dali ( a small town adjacent to lijiang and kunming...)! so we had a really bumpy ride, and throughout the trip, we were like praying. so it's really heartening to see how prayer changes the situation. the trip really taught me to have faith in the Lord, and it really taught me the innocence of the kids there. hope to see them next year... (:

dayten
wonderful! after a week in lijiang, i've learnt so much! WHEEE. and after we got some stuff in kunming, we're off to bangkok! haha. i love bangkok. shopping.... and i love central chidlom. whEEE.

next up, jay chou's concert last friday. it was a hit!! it's really good.... if he ever comes again, i'll get the tickets at all costs okayy! but hor, it's so expensive. tsk. oh wells. lets hope i can get more concerty tickets. yummy.

2004-11-30T16:12:00.000+08:00

i am back, from china and thailand. (: i'm so glad i had the oppurtunity to just go and see in the orphanage, to have the exchange with the language school students, as well as the university students. as for my little adventures, i'll try to list them all, sinmce i haven't been able to remember all of them!
the adventures of the cheerful goerr;
dayone.
i've never taken more than three transiting flights in my life. it was fun, as well as tiring. i had great food. and great wine! teeehee. i've memorised the songs heard in thai airways already. *laughs* okay. so i reached lijiang at about four plus, then to the orphanage! found my sponsored kiddo. whEE. i love the cold weather. (:

daytwo.
cooked omelette, then went to black dragon pool, a tourist attraction. bought nice bread-ie stuff, looks interesting... (: and in the park, there's this spring called the pearl spring. and when you scream, bubbles come out! amusing..... so we kept screaming like crazy girls.. tee. bathed...(never bathe in lijiang man, it's horribly cold.) then went to look at the kids... nice! they're all beautiful in God's sight... agreed? i love them! feasting another dinner........ yum!

daythree
old town for lunch, but had an english session witht he p6es in the morning. played our local games like five stones and chaptehh. so cool eh, boys playing such games. haha. so funny. ;D did magic painting and all... and so. tibetan food for lunch at old town, also known as gu cheng. i got lost halfway walking thru the place, and gawd, at least we saw some Singaporeans. i thought about this and concluded something about me getting lost. kay. if you wanna know, text me or something(:
late afternoon or evening time, we played with the rubber band zero points. how lame. )): played with the 5 1/2 year old boy... so wonderful! *oh. and some girls were super free that they created the flo dance. silly.

dayfour
painting with p3, music with p6 and 4. before all that had english with the p5. reminds me of typical singaporeans, not enthusiastic in learning. horrible eh! played a bit with the fours, after their lesson we went out to the basketball court to sing the hokey pokey, then played the animal kingdom thingy. yeah. embarassing to see that orange jacket boy to keep doing my action. horrible... and then so happened that after this, everyone kept making fun of me, saying that he has a crush on me. bwahaha. it's stupid. really! so they're like... orange guy orange guy... eeeyyyerrs..
food wise, everyone kept complaining. and i really felt irritated, cos it's like, look at the kids. they don't have such nice and good food, you get what i mean? really emphatise with the kids. sigh-ness. saw the "friendless" girl. so poor thing. well lets continue praying for her!

dayfive
english with the children, and this time, a mixture of kids, mostly upper primary kids. (: had lunch in a traditional Naxi home, and this child is really one poor kid. he had a brain operation to enable him to actually walk properly. so yes, keep him in prayer too. (: then had to have all the orphanage kids in the hall. and did our kiddy songs. haha. was really tired cos the air was pretty thin, and we had to keep jumping. so we thought we could sit, but no. had to continue. wah! tired like don't know what. tskkk.
i had the traumatisation period too. hahah. ask me if you wanna. so funny. oh. then the six of us had this sister game or something. funny. then went for english corner... and had a pretty unique situation(as said by yahui.) . we had this santary guy.... so he kinda shot us off cos we were singing "God is our Father." so yeah. for more details, please approach any of the lijiang tripers. (: Peli (our host) is really funny to scold him... haha. she was like telling us and we were laughing. super funny.

daysix
two girls from eng corner came... and they were telling us about the chinese education and we telling them more about our education system. hilarious. (: ashley is nice. cos every night we're sleeping together in the same bedroom and all.. haha. she's funny! quite cold the tap water, cos it's not run on the solar. only the bathrooms? so it was totally cold. can't imagine the kids washing their clothes as we saw them on the first or second night we had a lesson with them (:. ate our favourite dish in lijiang... the fish! super delicious. whhhootttt! can't wait for the mountain............

dayseven
went to the snow mountain today, and sadly, most of the snow has melted, or maybe the effect of global warming is really hotter than expected. the peak is covered, but the place i was at had very little snow. while at the orphanage, we had to nap, but i stayed up to draw. interestingly, ashley is better. shan't reveal anymore.... ate roast duck, then for the Yunnan Uni exchange! i like. the prof speaking was more on hard sales kinda thing? wah, i sat right in front of him somemore! eeesshh. anyway, he's not aas popualr as us. hahaha. super lame. okay. so i had some students' contact.... so on my way to send them already!

carry on on te next few days later or something.... happy reading! stay tuned! *michelle, if you see this, call me!!!!!!!*

fill me in.

2004-11-04T15:17:00.000+08:00

wheee! i'm back, once more! tee hee. here's a little joke i just saw in a mail. here's it:

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary
part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if
God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the
following:

Thank you for calling heaven.
For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners
right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer
it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then
enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. (If you
receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the
numbers, 3 and 16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other
planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today,
please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday.
If you are calling after office hours and need emergency assistance,
please contact your local pastor.
Thank you and have a heavenly day.
_____________________________________

i can never imagine this. haha. but only once when i heard Karene say the voice mail thingy during our CF camp. we were practically laughing in the room. talking about it, the year seems to pass like no one's business. had so much of fun, and now that i realise it, i've wasted it all away, in some way or another. sigh-ness. i'm having so much fun! tomorrow is really gonna be fun at the beach. wheee~

i'm lost as well. sigh-ness. i hope i get over the _________ matter soon. *tear* i in need of a play station. or a trip to the damned arcade. cos i'm feeling so horrid, i need therapy. immediately. and some __________ are total jerks. hmpphh. enough of crap. just wanna say.....
happy birthday SARAH!! may you grow to become a wonderful laydee and be a POWERFUL badminton player! *teehee* love ya!

____________________ fill in the blanks, to whatever you wish.

2004-10-29T14:57:00.000+08:00

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. prisca
2. shu en
3. prissy?
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. hmm.
2. maybe.
3. it's just everything?
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. too fat.
2. pimples. ):
3. feet. and hands.
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. why does PMS occur in women only?
2. why can't everyone just stay happy together?
3. God? totally mysterious. :D
THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. irritants.
2. 'kiasu' students.
3. wireless connecetions.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. cockroaches.
2. lizards.
3. anything gross. but not, grasshoppers! (x
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. water
2. air
3. can list more? hello???
THREE person/or set of PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. God
2. friends (: esp. chelle and gang.
3. family lorr.
THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. stand too long.
2. touch my nose with my tongue.
3. lose weight for nuts.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. pilates! haha. i'm kidding.
2. journalling?
3. having some chat times with my dars.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
1. shoes!
2. palm top
3. digital camera.
(anyone interested to buy any of 'em for christmas pressie?? (:)
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. nurse
2. singer? haha. in the bathroom!
3. some other job which i don't have in mind............
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Thailand
2. Spain
3. Maldives
THREE THINGS/PEOPLE YOU WANT OUT OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW:
1. the ________________ thing.
2. boredom. *any remedies to cure it?
3. fats!
THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULD WANT LEFT IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU WERE TO LOSE EVERYONE ELSE:
1. God
2. chelle. to entertain me? :D
3. maybe.... anas? cheese.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. visit the maldives.
2. go forth, speak.
3. give money to the penniless overseas. (:

Lord i offer my life.

2004-10-29T14:44:00.000+08:00

Lord i offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your Glory
And Lord i offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a pleasing sacrifice
Lord i offer You my life

when i sung this yesterday afternoon, whenever i sung this, i never meant it. but now, i mean what i sing. i want to commit my whole life into His hands, whether i like it or not, whether i am called to go for whichever things, i leave it to Him. i never believed that He has plans for me. but now i do. i never would allow Him or anyone to interfere in whatever i do. but now, i want lots of interference, though sometimes, it's not that important. :D
if life was a bed of roses, why is there pain and suffering? would there be problems and conflicts if life was just peaceful? even if you were to say, my life is going on darn smoothly for you, i think there's something possibly wrong. cos God allows these problems to mould you and setbacks, are the thinngs that God most probably wants to aid in your growth, as well as to pick yourself and become stronger in due course.

yesterday, i learnt one thing; the lesson was about what kind of christian are you. and the parable of the sower. both are really, relevant, but i have no idea how to approach the situations. sigh-ness. hope i can do better for the 'exam' the Lord has wanted me to do.

funfair! saturday, 30th october. gonna be fun. like totally. i love 3/7's disco. sigh-ness. hope i can leave early for church. sadness thrills my mind now. heh. what am a talking? contradicting. as always. tooodles.

i want ________________! NOW! (: cheerioes.

come to the Father.

2004-10-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives,
He will take them all
The power of the Word
the power of His blood
Everything was done, so you would come.

today's e-life was really stressful. but i'm glad for the sec threes, i didn't really freak out. the lower sec time was a bit better. we jumped, and tried to make the team have more enthusiasm and conviction. yeah. (:

hope everything would go well. read amy's blog. [it's in the links, go look for it yourself.] somehow, that feeling of God's with me is back. hmm, and as i walked back from the carpark just now, i just thought, maybe pleasing others was more important, but no, pleasing God is. the thing about school trying to raise funds for some other reason and not putting God first isn't right. i really thank God for mrs lee, cos she did put God first and in whatever she did, all she wanted was to please God, not talk about some other things like SI and the fair. yeah, it's important, but who gave you life, who gave you riches, and who blessed you when you asked for it? God. not some person in the world, but it is the almighty one. it's not like as if the school is poor. you could at least take your time, step by step. but really, i guess, putting God first is actually a bigger priority, then next, honouring your parents, as Joanne shared her testimony this morning.

as i go for a mission trip, may i be blessed by the things i do, that the toilets would be just another toilet i see, like China is my own place, and that the things i do would GLORIFY GOD'S NAME. it's not an easy task for me cos of my daily whinings, but i assure myself, that i would change myself, being how i've always wanted to be, a stronger, gentler, but a godly woman after His heart.

love, prisca.

more toyss!

2004-10-22T17:44:00.000+08:00

i'm complaining too much! urks. i can't stand my complains, a lot. and i think none of my friends can take it too. whatever. i so like ______________. ha! it's an object. not person. if you are deciding to guess. (x
today was fun. kept making fun of eunice's sudden fits of her hand. michelle and her deficient thingy. and pam's 'spoil school tarnish' speech. then went for different workshops. and i enjoyed the biotech part the most. i mean, the lady working in the diagnostic lab is really interesting, and yes, the tim person who works in the research lab is kinda... funny and nice. the IT people were sup sup B O R I N G can. it's totally nothing. and according to eunice, that guy is acting cocky. whatever it is, i liked the DISC personality test thing. i'm an 'S'! that means i'm like super steady de! haha. i like. can be like a nurse! and i can just stick to my career choice. :D and that's really WONDERFUL.

deedee didn't come today. and i want the hello kitty toys from macs, the shark tale stuff from burger king. now i wonder, since when did i want all these toys? haha. i like the mystery toy i got from action city. and the lucky disney thingy from there too. i think i would have a cupboard full of such stuff!!! haha.

need to look for a towning company. no one is free, are they? tag me if you see this... thanks. feel free to text, if you wanna. love you darrlinggs. *muax.

blessed be Your name in all the earth.

the morest of me! haha.

2004-10-22T15:12:00.000+08:00

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF YOUR NAME? prisca means honourable life. i think. (:

WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOING WHEN YOU`RE DEPRESSED? just er, talk? then cry!

WHAT MAKES YOU NERVOUS? being on stage with thousands looking at you.

WHAT'S THE ONE THING THAT IS LACKING IN YOUR LIFE? i don't know. more threapies and friends?

WHAT'S YOUR MIDNIGHT SNACK? chips. they're the best. (;

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGES? nah uh!! not good.

WHAT'S ONE THING YOU LOVE? friends. hmm, but shouldn't i love God more? tsk tsk.

MOST MEANINGFUL THING SAID TO YOU? can't remember. but being praised is GOOD STUFF.

LONGEST CAR/BUS RIDE YOU'VE TAKEN? to penang orhh. but shoikk!

BEST GIFT YOU HAVE EVER RECEIVED? the gift of friendship. niceee.

SHOW(S) THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? hmm. the stupidest shows in the world.

NICEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE? getting something my friend wanted?

LOOK AROUND. WHAT CAUGHT YOUR EYE? that Hillsongs dvd. not! my messy room.

YOUR WISH WHEN YOU LAST BLEW A BIRTHDAY CANDLE? hmm, i haven't had one in two.

CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A FEW SECONDS,WHAT DO YOU SEE? nothing. just... dark.

DO YOU LIKE BUYING BRANDED CLOTHES? if i had the money. :D

DO YOU KNOW YOUR BEST FRIEND'S FRIENDSTER PASSWORD? need to know meh?

HAVE YOU EVER LITERALLY BEEN A SHOULDER TO CRY ON? not really. i've let a person cry. (:

HAVE YOU EVER INTENTIONALLY IGNORED SOMEONE? FOR HOW LONG? did i?

HAVE YOU EVER WENT ON A ROMANTIC DATE? with me, myself and i? haha.

HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED A LOVE LETTER? nope. i wish i could!!!

IF YOU COULD SPEND A WEEK ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? maldives. and spain. and australia. and bangkok!

IF YOU WROTE A BOOK, WHAT WOULD IT BE ABOUT? nothing. i can't write a book for nuts.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PAST? fun i guess. :D

HOW DID YOU SPEND YESTERDAY? went to school. then took back more papers. and then came home, went online, dinner. then teeveee. heh. sup routine!

be MAGNIFIED!

2004-10-21T17:57:00.000+08:00

be magnified oh Lord,
You are highly exalted
and there is nothing You can't do
oh Lord my eyes are on You
be magnified
oh Lord be magnified.

i think i haven't been been regular in my walk with God. and that's really bad!!! heh. i haven't updated much.. heee. sorry. hmm, today is quite a meaningful day, with laughters and enjoyment! ha. stephanie was like, moses lim ARE tan ah teck!! ha. didn't know there were so many tan ah tecks.
what else... i've got kinda cool grades for exams... but not as i expected. i've got really below average marks for social studies! horrible. i don't like it can. on another note, i've been really tired these days, maybe due to some stuff. preparation for e-life is really... tiring. i keep singing every week, sometimes up to three times a week, just to prepare. tsk. when this ends, i wonder if i can still have my voice! haha. ah wells. maybe i would just need more sleep. ha. i love being in my ~~slumber~~. hmm, i like towning now. and i need it, in some way. movies, anyone? going alone is so bleddy loner. eunice and i were reading the last page of the eight days magazine, and we saw the word, yes, bleddy! it's stupid i know, but this is totally hilarious. hmm, good old laughing days back once more i guess?

I WANT TO WATCH MORE SWIMMING SHOWS!!! i don't know why. i like swimming shows nowadays. heh. i'm ~~weird!~~ whatever la. getting frustrated with chemistry and i totally am glad bio pulled me up. and art, i totally have no idea. she lost my work, she didn't allow me to find, i hope i'll work harder for next year. just hope i get my top ten, then get my job, then fly to china and bangkok, then do therapy, then try working again. goodbye to headstart, hello to trip. wanna go for headstart, but whatever. neck hurts a hella lot.

farewell, till i get the report book back.

i hate myself. if that's possible.

2004-10-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

somehow, i need to swear. i just don't know why, but i need to. it's twelve. eee yer. i've got so much to do. i hate the life i'm living. i hate everything about me. toodles for now.

mental patient in process.

2004-10-16T01:19:00.000+08:00

suddenly, it's all coming back to me. the material world, the negativeness of the world, the perfectness Man always wants. was talking to amy about some stuff just now. and somehow, words are not able to describe the inferiority i'm feeling; the amount of pain i need to feel. however, there's someone up there who we all know can understand all things. (:
i needed to cry, sob and wail really badly and already did. perhaps i put too much pressure on myself to impress others. i realised, all these while that i'm happy, i'm actually not. whatever. no one actually bothers coming here, neither do they bother knowing their friends better. i do. but i wonder if time permits.
sunday is jacq's b'dae! got her pressie just now, and it's really funny. yup. and sweet and nice smelling too. wheee~. think jacq is funny. i mean, how often do you have fun with a absolutely funny girl while you're towning? haha. she's a darling. (:
miss everything i did today. i miss ____________. i miss the confused days i once had. i need to be mental. now.

mental scrizphopenic .

materialistically hopeless

2004-10-14T15:19:00.000+08:00

wheee! tomorrow's friday and the last day of the exams! lalala. it's so exciting. i can't wait for biology to be over, then i can go towning... mm hmm. and i'm hopelessly broke. eeesshhh. i'm materialistically hopeless and helpless now. and that's really sad cos i need to satisfy my shopping mood. for now. argh. i neeedd eeeeeetttt nooww! ew. prolonging mky words are kinda weird. ;P whatever. miss watching tv for the week wheeee!

toodles, till exams end.(:
prisscy

wonder, wonder.

2004-10-12T15:22:00.000+08:00

i wonder if i did something wrong. i can never seem to please anyone. somehow, i see life not fulfilling it's purpose in my life, and everything not being fair to me, being wrongly accused for something i never did or said. goodbye.

i hate msn!

2004-10-11T14:31:00.000+08:00

msn is totally screwing up for me. and ME only. arrgghh. anyway. chemistry is horrid. horrid till i wanna puke doing it. whatever. the paper's over and i don't wanna talk or discuss it. eeee. i hate chemistry. go bio. cos it rocks. and tml would be a wordy day. cos it's humanities and michelle would write and write non-stop!! haha. i don't like gareth gates. the holey holey teeth. haha. dear girls ah, read below okayys! (think you would know who i'm talking about. (:)

love, pweesca.

thank you once more.

2004-10-08T17:36:00.000+08:00

kit teng chan mai weelaa tii ter.
okay. thai. i'm loving it. so much that i want to learn it now! haha. eee. i'm finally getting the sway of the exams. mm. only three days away or so. and it's really freaking me out.
oh wells. saturday saturday... i'm so liking saturdays now. today was so serious. and i've done so much writing. eee. i can't seem to study bio properly. whatever. i just want to finish up all the exams. and after that, go on a slacking, as well as a shopping spree. whheee~ it's fun! and time really flies. lalala. and yes, i miss the old days. especially the days when i just begun to realise who they really are. they? my darlings. sarah, deedee, pamela ng, eunice and michelle.
i haven't been able to thank them. so here, thanking them. (:

dear girls;
you've made a great impact in my life, and you've been such a wonderful help to me. thanks for everything once again. can never say thank you enough. no words can describe the joy in knowing you girls. love you all loads. (:
pweesca.

upset. yet again.

2004-10-07T21:43:00.000+08:00

lalala. i'm sad. very upset. i wonder why. i think it's PMS. but i don't think so. cos my mind is filled up. with things, which i'm really confused with. God please help me.

bad m i n to n.

2004-10-07T21:23:00.000+08:00

B A D M I N T O N!! haha. i like. but not so much eh. cos today haven't got a good good chance to play with eunice. jerry ong is so not cut out to be an idol can. and taufik. and christopher has a lousy voice. david yeo is so-so. umm. daphne is quite good today! olinda and maia and leandra too. eee. i like all the layydeees! why. i wonder too. mm. yeah. i love it. so much. lalala. goodbye!

compulsive talks.

2004-10-07T16:33:00.000+08:00

compulsive behavioural problems. am i suffering from it? i suppose so. i have a certain thing for perfection. eeee. i think i scared the shit out of chelle and the rest. haha. and yes. i am into badminton now. i'm dying to play it againandagain. it'sjustsofun! eee. i like. it is just like a routine. i can't stop coming online. urrkks. exams are herealready. and i haven't started revising. at all. tsk. feeling unprepared.
there's tuition tonight. eee! going to see the dude wannabe. xD heeheehee. my gawd. he tries to act smart. urks. i'm disgusted. but anyway, his coming would ensure good and standard results. hurhur. oops. i said it again! too ah lianish nowadays. heee. ah wells. i think i shall blog later. and singapore idol's on tonight! catch it okayys. :D

compulsive behavioural gives me the bumps. (:

determination, no. help, YES!

2004-10-06T18:08:00.000+08:00

dear pweesca,
i love you, do you love me too? i wonder what's unpredictability. hmm, and i wonder much about how life goes round. it seems really weird, but i want to know how to love and live life once more. being silent and softspoken is hard, but i hope i accquire that, what's the word, oh, W I S D O M. tell my darlings i love them all. thank you. (:

-prisca.

what's the difference? predictable to unpredictable. somehow, it seems like a big thing. the difference is, one allows some people to predict you, the other, none at all. if that's the case, maybe i should quit and just live life the way i want. it's either pure foolishness or pure wisdom, neither of which do i accquire; neither of which do i like. sometimes, what people say makes you want to change for the better, and that's the example of amy's daddy doing devotion today. somehow, i want to change. drastically. like for example, how i speak and how i behave. and i think, that would be life's greatest achievement, following some other goals i have in life. sadly, i wouldn't have the chance to. being kept busy by the exams is really vexing. i can't seem to study at home, class isn't that cool, and i get distracted. really badly. somebody please suggest a GOOD and USEFUL way of studying. i can't slack. but then again, i'm not sure. and i'm really upset.

why do i always think negatively of life? maybe because i haven't been positive. usually, i would be, at this time of the day. but i'm not. i hope by the time i's done with the exams, i can W O R K. not slack. nah uh uh! i want to. but i don't havee time already. time's running out.... and i can't afford much already!!
i cannot believe myself. i am capable of saving up! heh. i know i could. but it's just that i keep spending. ): ah wells. an achievement would never make you feel bad about yourself. DUH! ;P and i so l i ke ---------! you'll never guess it. wahaha. i'm feeling wordy. and i haven't changed my mood for ages! eee. how long already. ah wells. time to wake my stupid self up, get into the mood of exams, and PUSH all the way for it!!!! zhun bo? you would ask. and i would reply, yes, cos i can't seem to see myself... failing. ): goodbye.

determination isn't helping. please help!

2004-10-06T15:43:00.000+08:00

What would you do if
1-you find out that you are being followed?~ umm. not sure? i think i'll walk faster.
2-you lost you hand fone in sch.?~ say, shucks i lost my phone!
3-the guy you dislike most says he have a crush on you?~ umm. not sure?
4-you were given a flute on your birthday?~ cool. but i can't play it. ):
5-you inherited a million dollars?~ shop shop shop!
6-your annoying sibling woke you up when you were having a sweet dream?~ sweet. i just had a dream!! shhh~
7-your pet starts toking to you?~ freak out. totally.
8-the teacher give your class a surprise test comprising 7 chapters in your science textbook?~ excuse me, ARE YOU ASKING T+ME TO KILL YOU?
9-you were to be a boy for one day?~ freak out! ew.
10-the person you love is a gay/les?~ umm. i'm perfectly straight!
11-you got 0/100 for you geography final year paper?~ i take history?
12-you see Osama walking around Serangoon central?~ ey! why you in there?
13-a fairy give you a wish?~ more time? heh.
14- the person can't count!!!!!
15-the person beside you farted during foot drill and a very fierce sir is staring at the squad?~ it stinks!
16-you realise holiday is over and you havent complete a single assignment?~ slipshod. do it last minute lor.
17-some clowns kick a soccerball and hit your drink which splash on your uniform during recess?~ wah KAO. &^$%#.
18-someone annoys you?~ stop it, you're irritating!!
19-your hair is shave bald by the hair dresser?~ buy a wig and wear it.(:
20-if this is the last question?~ cool.
comments: please attend maths classes and count!

not another passion!!!

2004-10-05T21:57:00.000+08:00

B O R I N G. eee. just a little error: badminton is just another passion. NOT. okay? now thati've cleared it. i'm happier. well, cos i'm talking to dot dot dot. heh. i think i'm crazy.

another passion.

2004-10-05T18:18:00.000+08:00

i love badminton!!
eee. i talk like as if i'm from badminton. hur hur. well, but i think it rocks. was playing it just now during lunch to maths revision test. it rocks totally. hee. anyway. i blogged yesterday, but somehow, it didn't come out. boo!
anyways. i had a lot of fun on saturday. uh huh. so much fun. and watched a psychopath show. dead end. freaky. the white woman totally freaks me out.

anyway. school rocks. well, kinda. heh. and yeah. and mrs l is so totally mean. i can't stand the way she is. like she loses my art pieces? wow. i'm amused. ah whatever. better go do some work. (:

badminton. just another passion.

kit teng chan mai weelaa tii ter.

2004-10-04T17:45:00.000+08:00

see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

some people are crazy. like for example. in my house, there's two persons that are literally lame. yes. l a m e. and i am pissed off at that. tsk.
but anyway, was talking to chelle just now. was kinda like... i was offending people silently. like some silent killer. heh. but this is really weird. i can offend peole without knowing it myself. i mean, i would rather know i offended some one, rather than i don't know. ah wells. maybe i should be like the top, bolded phrase. (: then that way, life would be better. well, that's how i see it.
oh well. maybe i shouldn't be here at all. maybe i shouldn't have known it. maybe... God put me in this spot for a purpose? i'm still looking for my hidden self. i hide, i run, i run away from my real self. do i even realise what's happening? maybe not. i'm so far from reality, i hardly realise what's happening. and i wonder how am i to survive the harsh realities of this world. ):

anyway. looking forward to the funfair! anyone interested in buying the expensive tickets from me? one for 10 bucks. mm hmm. please tag me if interested. thank you very much. (: yeah. l i k e ------!!! heeee. anywayys. i like this word i made for eunice. d y s funk ti o n al. cool eh. yeah. think i shall go surfing around. (:

kit teng chan mai weelaa tii ter. wait and see.

the not-so-inspirational me.

2004-10-01T15:35:00.000+08:00

english exam! gawd. i can never seem to remember the stupid instructions on the first page of the exam paper. lieww. i think mrs tay will take one mark away from me or something. darn. i hate this kinda feeling.

and tomorrow would be a fun fun day! hee. i can go out fer a while. hehh. but i like! should i cut my hair? umm, a hard decision to make. ha. maybe i'll cut it some other time. hmm. and i'm so scared for the rest of the exams. well, not really. except for chemistry. cos i can't seem to understand what in the world is she teaching. and chemistry is the first day of exam okay! tsk. why is the timing for such papers so bad? chheeez. i'm pissed off with miss lee. and it's really bad.
i need retail therapy again. yeah. cos i think i can't study like 24/7. so i need a break. but i guess, it'll all be gone in a twinkling of an eye. and now i wonder, how long do i waste everyday. i haven't anymore inspiration to write. because of the lousy paper one. it isn't satisfying me at all. and i really am so upset with myself. i've got ter go. goodbye.

the inspirational self. not.

grosssedd out.

2004-09-30T17:57:00.000+08:00

i'm so tired. and my shoulder and back are hurting really badly, and maybe because i piggybacked michelle today outside class. and yes, i need a good massage really badly. can i go spaing one day? ha. maybe when i'm really rich. sigh. i wish i could just fly away from this place forevermore. and live the way i want it to be elsewhere... somewhere over the rainbow, in bikini bottom. :D

and it's really stressing me up. oh. and the stupid counsellor took my mag. and i agree with what eunice said. counsellors are supposed to be understanding. not make us study 24/7! like hello, we need our rest too okay! not like as if we are supergirls who can study 24/7. and yes, i don't like her style of teaching. ah wells. maybe i haven't understood an old lady like her, yet.
then she returned it. then mr koh took it. wow. i'm superbly amazed at him reading our minds. argh. and i can bet you a million he confistcated the her world magzine for miss kang. ahemm. i'm left with nothing to say okayy. he's gross.

and i can't do my 'minmin' trick already. tsk. this stupid guy comes like so irregularly that i think i can just do everything myself already. what the hell. i need a regular tuition timing. and he is super irritating. God, what to do with such an ass? hmphh. and i'm having such a ard time coping with that ache in my mouth. oopps. i haven't taken my medication yet. :x hee.

toodles. and doodles. with noodles. xD

kisses.

2004-09-29T15:36:00.000+08:00

.:: p e o p l e a r o u n d m e ::.

Your mum is - working
Your dad is - working too.
Your sister is ? watching the dumb show?
Your crush is ? i would like to know too.
Your grandma is ? in heaven.
Your grandpa is ? which side? hee.
Your teachers have - been irritating me.
------------------------------------ -

.:: s t u f f t h a t i h a v e ::.
Your school bag is ? purple haversack, now it's denim. (:
Your pencil case is ? yellow, red hearts and a pig on it.
Your PC is - black. sleek.
Your wallet is ? black netted pouch.
Your camera is ? none. cos i haven't one. ):
Your mobile is ? samsung e100.
Your books are ? strewn everywhere.
Your accessories are - what? i have too many actually.. hee.
Your sunglasses are - colourless. cos they're sepctacles.
Your towel is ? every colour. i have so many. ;)
Your teddy is - is retarded.
Your clock is - noisy. i don't use it at all.
-------------------------------------------------

.:: w h a t i m w e a r i n g n o w ::.
Your shirt is ? white
Your shorts/trousers is - black
Your shoes are - on the rack outside the door.
Your underwear is - ahem. if you want to know?
Your jacket is - grey! hee. nice.
Your socks are - iin good conditions.
Your belt is - misplaced.
Your mind is - thinking about some shits.

lalalala. i think i'm really crazy now. urk. i think i am gonna become a lunatic. erm. yeah, i miss the days, walking on the beach, together with you.

walking down this lonely road made me think
i try making my life more colourful
you came and was there when i thought i was invisible.
i love you all, a hella lot.
goodbye.

i love you guys!! -muackkks-

just as i could, try as i might, i love myself.

2004-09-28T17:20:00.000+08:00

dear prisca,
why is that life brings nothing but joy and bliss in itself? please let her know that life is not a bed of roses, a relaxing journey down of it. and tell her i love her. i just want to breathe again, just like someone happy and blissful, with pure joy, and thanksgiving throughout the times i live. i love you forevermore, realising that you are the person i have to love all my life. till we meet again, farewell.
-p r i s ca.

i'm weird, and contradicting. urk. i hate contradicting myself. i would like to discover more of life, be someone full of love, bliss and joy. hmm, maybe that'll be like in a year's time or something. ha. anyways. i'm dead bored at home.. and i haven't done my chinese. tsk. i'm just so irritated with the chinese teacher. wah liew. he just like counted so many of my compositions, and said i never hand in like five of it? urk. i'm gonna die doing all five of it. ah wells. just hope i could realise more of me as i start my journey of discovering more of myself and my life. :D

just as i could, try as i might, i love myself.

what the hell is happening?

2004-09-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

i'm bored, bored, bored. but i have lots ter catch up on. tsk. what is happening to me? i need towning. but i have to study. contradicting not?

tsk tsk. shame on y o u.

2004-09-28T14:25:00.000+08:00

x. Slept in your Bed : me, myself and i.
x. Saw you cry : umm, eunice?
x. You shared a drink with : goodness knows who.
x. You went to movies with : dee, pam, amy, eunice and chelle.
x. You went to the mall with : eunice.
x. Yelled at you : my mum?
x. Send you an e-mail : er. spam. haha.

HAVE YOU EVER
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it : i don't think so. (:
x. Gotten in fight with ur pet : what? with a monkey, yes. haha.
x. Been to California : no.
x. Been to China : yeah. the toilets are.. ahem.
x. Been to Canada : nope.
x. Danced naked : no. maybe in dreamland, yes.
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day : no.
x. Wished you were the opposite sex : being a girl is bliss.
x. Had an imaginary friend : when i was young.
x. Do you have a crush on someone? : yeah.
x. What book are you reading now : breakfast at tiffany's. plus her world.
x. Worst feeling in the world : being lonely.
x. Future son's name : a really nice, unique name.
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal : by my bedside. cos i ran out of space to keep all of them.
x. What's under your bed : rubbish, but i guess it's cleared.
x. Siblings : one younger one. mummy's darling.
x. Piercings/tattoos : just a pair, to fit my pretty ears. (:

EXTRA STUFF
x. Do you do drugs : panadol. and some other medicines. (:
x. Do you drink : water! haha. i haven't drunk any. ):
x. Who are your best friends : chelle, eunice.... (:
x. What clothes do you sleep in : pyjamas. :D
x. Where do you want to get married : spain. or jubilee hall.
x. Who do you really hate : s a t a n. it's impossible to hate one person forever.
x. Are you for world peace : yeah, who isn't? terrorists.

STUFF
x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with : perhaps. i can't really say. (:
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did : don't think so.
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after : hmm? i don't know.
x. Are you lonely right now: no. i'm just bored.
x. Song that stuck in your head: pieces of me. blessed be your name.
x. do you want to get married : if i say yes, i can't. if i say no, i will. contradicting. tsk.
x. do you want kids : same as the answer on top lorr.

FAVORITE
x. Room in house : slack area, or the living room.
x. Type(s) of music : as long as it's not alternative. haha. xD
x. Band(s) : you say?
x. Color : black, dark red, pink, yellow.
x. Perfume or cologne : both. cos they all smell nice. (: but not too much also.
x. Brand : ladies' brands, what do you think?
x. Season : spring.

IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU....
x. Cried : no. for what? that's it's the end of the world?
x. Bought something : mm, yeah, the happy house thingy.
x. Gotten sick : extra symptoms of stress. :D
x. Missed someone : yeah.
x. Hugged someone : my little boy, yes.

smiles!!

2004-09-27T17:11:00.000+08:00

i just like the thrill of switching on everything to the full blast, like totally. haha, like the hillsongs dvd playing. i have the temptation of switching the thing louger, but on the circumstance that i'll wake my aunt and little boy up, i thought that i shouldn't. (:
i'm so irritated with mrs cheong. hello! we're like, using the computers in the library. and we booked it like for an hour!!! what the hell. then i decided that i should let dee or someone else in our class use, but mrs cheong was so persistent that i gave up the whole computer. dumb ass. i so hate old teachers. gee, why are they so naggy and so irritating? what's with them. argh.
anyways, i think my old, insensitive and irritative self is back in action. tsk, why! i think it's because i don't like seeing people's odd, charcoal face. like, do you even want to look at it? urrrkkk. i'm so blessed that i haven't blown up, again. cos if i did, i'll kinda be in trouble, and everyone would take sides, and that's really bad. sometimes, i don't want to provoke you, but see, it's you who gets me really on my nerves. whatever. i just don't want to talk about it here.

dear God,
why do humans sin against You? why am i so insensitive and irritative? am i even good enought to be with You?
in Jesus' Name, Amen.

and i will say it once more, please don't give me your charcoal face. and SMILE.
thank you very much, and i will appreciate it one day. (:

smiling all day!

i'll sing.

2004-09-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

i'll sing.... sing.. i love you so.
sometimes, we don't really understand what are we singing to God. i often wonder, if what i sing to God is really my promise to Him of what i've sung to Him. i've been the most overbearing idiot in my whole entire life, but He hasn't given up on me. so just come back to Him, your life would be filled with tremendous joy, with a knowing that someone loves you deeply, even more than people in the world.
this week, it's the healing service. and i wonder what chinese songs we're gonna sing! haha. i don't know. it's just a liking to the melodious chinese songs we sing at church. and yes, i kinda dread the service. they're long and everything, but i get to learn new things from them each time i sit in service. hm, maybe i'll have a lunch treat this week, i don't know! haha. (: and i am so pissed off with mr koh okay. he gave me a ten for such a nice presentation. okay, i just said, shit, then he just decided to give me ten marks. wow. i'm darn impressed with such a wonderful teacher. *blinks*
and anyway, i have to resign to watching my channel eight seven o'clock show. addiction.

addiction kicks in well at this time. (:

stupid questions.

2004-09-23T17:38:00.000+08:00

1*[[ which fast food joints do you NEVER patronize ]]-- umm. i don't know? ha.
2*[[ how do you eat your fries ]]-- with chili, or just plain. (:
3*[[ do you make it a habit to wash yourhands before eating ]]-- yeah.
4*[[ do you bite your fingernails]]-- when i was pretty young.
5*[[ do you play with your hair ]]-- yeah. i like twirling it. :D
6*[[ do you sweep back your fringe often]]-- if i have no choice. ha.
7*[[ do you tend to speak loudly inpublic ]-- yes, and i get scolded by eunice for that. (:
8*[[ do you walk like you're dancing or bouncing ]]-- neither. cos i walk perfectly normally and with poise! :D
9*[[ do you scream at people who step on your foot]]-- i'll just say, 'wah lao!' hahaha.
10*[[ do you stop people who fail to say sorry after shoving you]]-- no, i'll just 'tsk'.
11*[[ do you make it a point to be polite to strangers]]-- i don't know. maybe. (:
12*[[do you put on a certain slang to your english when ordering something, speaking over the counter, etc.]]-- no, i slang to irritate michelle, eunice and pamela. xD
13*[[do you talk like nobody's around whenon your mobile]]-- hmmm. i'll have to ask...
14*[[ do you tend to play your cdplayer/mp3player/hp loudly in public places]]-- kinda. heee.
15*[[do you carry a boombox around]]-- no.
16*[[ do you purposely shout out comments during movies]]-- nah, but if you're noisy, i'll just say, 'shut up!'
17*[[ do you turn around and tell peoplewho are too noisy in the cinema to shut up]]-- 'hoi!!! you shudddup!!' haha. xD
18*[[ do you purposely enter the ladies?]]-- erm, i am one?
19*[[do you purposely peep into a side of the ladies' to see if you can see any gals?]]-- i'm a normal girl okay!
20*[[do you always forget to flush]]-- eww! i hate eople who don't flush. ew.
21*[[do you hide behind entrances to scare people]]-- basically. michelle. haha.
22*[[do you cry if you get lost in the shopping centre]]-- maybe if i'm really really lost. (:
23*[[do you go places that you should not be going to in shopping centres]]-- ? places like..?
24*[[ do you ignore the clothes that have dropped from the rack]]-- i pick them up sometimes, if i'm feeling nice. (:
25*[[ do you have friends who have strange shopping mall habits]]-- who? michelle!!!!! haha. kidding. i hardly get out now. ):

friends.

2004-09-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

today is such a borrringg day. i tell you, chapel's speaker was kinda boring. as in like, i can't seem to understand him, and i was falling asleep due to boringness. (: yeah. but the e-life skit we were doing is so cute. haha. amy is a gooodd actress. but she ain't no actress in other stuffs. she's good. (: anyway, tml i have com praise shits ter do... am so tired out lately, without any good reason. probably i can't sleep with ease and i sleep late. ah wells, i don't bother. cos it plainly, sucks to be a good student. well, that's of course, a good thing, cos you wouldn't need to study that hard!!! heehee.
anyway, me and michelle find some people really contradicting. as in like, they shouldn't be acting that way but they are. well, they're not from threeeight larh. just the pesky little ones i thought were not. ah wells. what i'm talking ain't making sense to me.

the ways i've walked,
the marathons i've ran;
they were never enough
to take my problems off.
the times i've shared
the heaviness i've been bound
were all taken away by you.
i wondered if one day i would see you,
and you just said, till we meet again.
the depressions you fell to
the lonliness you feel
i would be there,
to bear them with you.
i wish this would never have to end,
but then, all good things come to an end.
i liked you, but you weren't for me
till we meet once more, friend.

nice poem? ha. just came from my mind and whoever reads it, hope you like it. a lot. (: well, the second last sentence didn't make any sense to me at all, but yeah. i think the front rocks. not rots. michelle, can stop postponing your shits and events? it's irritating. michie!! hahahahahhaa. lmao. :D

till we meet again, friend.

look on the bright side!

2004-09-21T21:46:00.000+08:00

reminder to self: always look on the bright side of life.

well. hope the person's grudge would be nursed, be cured, and never to harm another the next time. (:

what it takes for life.

2004-09-21T21:25:00.000+08:00

move it!
darn, i feel suffocated. and squashed and feel like a bummer. ha. i've slacked so much, i think i'm gonna fail. i totally flung today's maths test, and gee, it sucks. i've never been so blank in my life. i tried thinking of the answer but no avail. what the hell. i just want to get out of this place this moment, this minute. i haven't enough time to rest my brains. argh.
ah wells. just hope for a better studying environment. hee, but i think i'm thinking too much. ah wells. i guess that's life. i need a more laid back society, and a more, innocent, and cheerful and pure place. and that's heaven. ha. my dream place! wells. guess school is filled with lots of stupid but funny activities. and hash is funny... *laughs* and so is everyone. good luck to everyone for the exams!

and that's, life. (:

poser!

2004-09-20T20:46:00.000+08:00

it's getting weird. i have this weird feeling about people adding me into msn. funny how they just add you on msn just because 'i' am on irc. weird people. anyways. to the person who posed as me on irc, please take note: GET A LIFE. cos no matter what, you are a loser to pose as me on irc.

all these precious moments.

2004-09-19T21:16:00.000+08:00

i somehow admire my optimism. really. my heck-care attitude on life, somehow just works out for me whenever i like having it. it sometimes just breaks me to see how negativeness can bring someone really down. yupp. and i guess. sometimes i just wonder if people do have hope in them. oh yeah, and i really like that dou yu song that starts like this, all these precious moments, with you by my side... and it goes on. my gosh. i like that song so much. okayy. i've said enough. good bye.

Blessed be Your name.

2004-09-19T19:18:00.000+08:00

Blessed be Your Name
in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your Name.
And blessed be Your Name
When i'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your Name.

pre-chorus
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in Lord,
Still i will say

chorus
Blessed be the Name of the Lord,
Blessed be Your Name
Blessed be the Name of the Lord,
Blessed be Your glorious Name.

Blessed be Your Name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your Name
And blessed be Your Name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your Name

*pre-chorus, chorus, bridge.

bridge
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your Name.

music and lyrics by Matt and Beth Redman.

beautiful song. sometimes when we go through bad times we blame God, we simply get put off with God, and stuffs. really want to praise God for my sweet darlings. mm hhmm! yeah. hope i don't procrastinate my art exam prep. (:

stronger me.

2004-09-19T14:16:00.000+08:00

gosh. i feel whiney again. darn. sometimes i feel so kiddish while whining. ah wells, i'm trying darn hard to quit whining. haha. i think i'm being plain stupid. just pure stupid. sometimes i wonder if i could just drop dead and leave everything behind, but of course, there are some things in this place i can't seem to let go. i wonder what are they. i can't seem to find it, i don't seem to do it. sighs. it's so difficult trying to concentrate on my studies. i simply can't. i'm so addicted to my fighting fish (it's some drama. heh.), and i'm stuck to tv for one month already. what the hell. i hope i can beat all odds and just do my best. (:
sigh. i think my blog's a disaster. my htmling skills are deteoriating. i can't seem to pull myself up from where i fell, from my darkest time, and from where i thought i was lost. God please help me. argh. now i feel so tired, so useless, so unworthy of everything i do. maybe i should sound perfectly okay in school. then i wouldn't feel so useless. like going through a war period in this time of my life. heck, i think i'm happier at school. ah wells. had a long talk with anas yesterday during service. haha. and yes, problems can be solved and make one into somebody stronger. i want to be a stronger person but i don't want problems. ha. does that mean i want the best of both worlds? God knows.

i want a stronger self.

MORE TIME!!

2004-09-16T20:01:00.000+08:00

oh, and i haven't added somemore. heehee.
. ashlee simpson cd.
. a nice book from borders.
. the channel 55 show vcd. pleeeasseee??? it's so nice, i want to watch more!
. or just fifty bucks to spend. for a day. ((:

ohh. i think that's all. cos i think i've got enough. maybe i want some nice artsy stuff so i can try out some artsy stuff. haha. sigh, i've got so much things on my head i can't seem to think. i've got to get a compass, my bio homework and almost the whole list of songs for e-life! '04 com praise. eeessshhh, this is stressful. i want more TIME, GOD! (:
I NEED TO BE NICER. of course, to certain people at certain times. as the swimming show is on now, i'm typing and typing and listening at the same time. ah wells. guess i need time for my bio worksheet now. goodbye.

i want more time!

wishing. for nuts.

2004-09-14T17:51:00.000+08:00

i'm having such a bad bad headache. and i don't know what's wrong with my body nowadays. it's getting so weird. and so is blogger. guess i'm falling sick. and soon enough, i'll be sick enough to be admitted to the hospital. that's pretty lame.
and i was super crappy during IT lesson just now. i spammed eunice's tagboard. and my own tagboard too. haha. was pretty bored and since i did hand my homework up. well, it's just an assignment. heehee. pretty soon it's exam period. how i wish i could spend my endless days just by the good 'ol beach, just relaxing or in the city just doing my own retail therapy. that's if i can, and i have the potential to. ha. i have so much to do, and it isn't like ending soon. this is like my stupid race, running till i die. urgh. i can never imagine myself just running. the thought of it just irks me, cos i just can't run for nuts. urks.
i just thought of a rough wishlist. hopefully, i can fulfil this stupid list by myself. and at the rate that i'm saving, it's horrendous. haha.
. a nice bracelet.
. a classier phone.
. that pair of nice pink shades.
. laura ashley's homeware rose scented candles.
. nice comfy sofa. or a globe chair.
. that 19.90 slipper from m)phosis in takashimaya. or is it cheaper?
. a part-time domestic helper. hopefully, i can achieve a cleaner room with her.
. tops. i haven't enough.
. a classical guitar!!

that's basically all. cos if i have more, people would think i'm asking too much. i could do without affluent stuff. just more time having retail therapy in bangkok would do very well, thank you.

a professional retail therapist, basically, does retail therapies with lcc. (:

staying in my own town

2004-09-13T20:24:00.000+08:00

was pondering over some stuff about God yesterday. not sure what, but just thought about it. heh. i can't remember any of what i pondered about yesterday. that channel 55 show now is so cool. haha. swimming. olympics? so over with it. but this is good drama. i missed my armed reaction drama just now. urgh. and i slept like four hours? good beauty sleep for me! was watching the hillsongs dvd till i fell asleep. gawd. i took one stupid panadol and the pain just wouldn't go. shucks.am i getting addicted to panadol? that's bad!
mm hmm. and i missed chemistry. hahaha. i'm so happy for that. and today was quite... weird. mr teng is a bit... pian tai. like it's one serious case. haha. full of crap eh. anyways. i feel so rejuvenated. heh. but i missed my mc out. nah, maybe just ask mummy to write one later. eesshhh. the school is crazy. you can't exceed 5 mcs and 3 letters per year. how crazy is that? urgh. i miss mrs lee. at least she's a bit more flexible. is she? haha. that's a stupid reason for me to miss her. ha.
darn i'm crappy. my cramps are like not going away, and maybe because since last month i kept eating pineapple. urgh. maybe i should hate pineapples. and i wouldn't have cell next week! haha. that's quite a good thing. but wells. i need to study. sucks okayy. i don't get chemistry and i hope i just don't fail the stupid test again. seems like i wouldn't want to go to school tml too. but well. it's a must thing. or else i guess i can just die during the stupid ends. urgh. i'm such a slacker! wish that wasn't true, but it is. heh. i'm so contradicting. maybe i should just try retail therapy again. like what!? i just did. but i haven't anymore money. and i just felt like working everyday from now just to earn my money, or i'm a sure goner when i'm in bangkok. well let's hope my mum relents and gives me money. urgh.

saving big time. ew.

sabrina

2004-09-11T13:38:00.000+08:00

to sabrina:
guess i'm at fault again for this time. maybe it was because of my presumptions that made you upset with me. and yes, i have no right or whatsoever to say what's wrong or what's right in your lifetime. i'm just sharing my opinion. and maybe it was bacause of that opinion that made you upset, angry and confused at this friendship. i get your point. i have been pissed off with you for no rhyme or reason many times in a year. and i supposedly thought it was just PMS and then it'll all be okayy after a while. but it didn't go away and that grew bigger and made me grow weary. of course, during these times i've compromised a lot to you. that's if you can remember. after the sec one incident, i thought that hey, maybe you would change to become more matured and sensible to tell who's right and who's wrong. and i was horribly proved wrong. maybe it was also my assumptions that made you think twice on who was correct, and who was making the grave mistake. i thought to myself why were you always so pissed off in the morning when i tried talking to you. i wouldn't dare cos you would just kinda "bark at me". but it didn't bother me till recently. maybe i could compromise now and just think that what happened these weeks was just childish and i was the one at fault. i couldn't accept such a friend who was contradicting her actions and wasn't doing what she said. i was upset and i thought that maybe if i ignored you, you could do some soul searching and just conclude that you were really sorry about what's happening and all. but i'm wrong and i made a bigger mess with what i've said. i regret for that. and anyone that i've spoken to can prove that i am regretful. well, if this doesn't show you, then that's really sad. cos i think i tried enough to just say that i could just compromise and all with you. if i were to just say the s-five letter word, i would be saying just for the sake of it, and not for the real cause of saying it, so i rather that we clarify and then when i'm not so tensed about this mess then i'll say it. okay?
it's pretty hard for this matter to be forgotten, and i guess i need to clarify and talk it out with you. maybe you would just think that after this talk with you i wouldn't bother you, you can think that way, but i'm not. cos i think as friends we ought to care for each other and not just throw one side kinda thing. for the past few entries i was pretty upset with what i;ve said, and i guess you are too. i wouldn't blame you for insulting me or whatever. cos it just proves that you're not gonna forgive me as yet, and yes i can accept that. but if i were to say what i mean, would you be able to let this thing off? maybe some people would just tell you that i don't deserve to be forgiven, and that's your mindset too. i don't mind. as long as you read this, i'm satisfied. goodbye.

a dream, is a dream your heart makes.

2004-09-09T15:25:00.000+08:00

she was really feeling confused and tried getting the matter out of her brain, but to no avail. miriam ran out of her house into the cold, snowing street of Wales. she couldn't understand the true meaning of the friendship and sobbed. suddenly, her mobile phone rang. "hello?"
"miriam?"
"yes, speaking.. you are?"
"jen. you can't remember?"
"oh yes... now i remember... how are you?"
"i'm fine, thanks.. i want to meet you up for a cuppa... are you free now?"
"um. yeah sure. where?"
"the city mall. the cafe we frequented last time."
"okay. see you."
miriam went to get her coat and set off for meeting her friend from college. jen and miriam were best of friends when college started. they graduated together and lived together to share the cost of the rented house. a month later, they had a brawl and sweared never to talk to each other again. miriam was surprised that jen called for coffee.

at the cafe, miriam saw jen sipping her favourite hot chocolate from the cup. "hey jen," miriam tapped on jen's shoulder.
"hey miriam!" jen rose and gave miriam a big hug.
miriam smiled a little. she haven't seen jen for a year, and was really glad that jen would ask miriam out for coffee. they chatted a while and jen suddenly said, "miriam, i want you to have this necklace. it's the most precious thing in the world to me, and i want you to have it. cos you really, really mean the world to me, though we had a really bad brawl."
"oh jen, you don't have to do that."
"i must. i guess it must have been wrong to fight over such a stupid thing with you. sorry."
"i already forgave you long ago. don't worry."
jen gave a really big smile, and miriam was pleased that she took this matter calmly. and miriam always held on to the hope that jen would change, and not be the awful, spoilt brat that no one likes. miriam believed in jen, and i guess, jen did realise that miriam was actually being very nice to her and changed her attitudes.

this is like my dream story. like two friends resolving their problems and everything. and i guess, probably i was wrong to be pissed off and walk away. i must have acted like a spoilt brat, and everyone has compromised to my wants and needs in a way or another. sometimes, i believe that true friendship is a commitment between friends to show your care and concern, and to believe in them. yes, i haven't been doing all that, but i guess, i've shown some of you my care and concern. right at this moment, i can't say that i'm a good friend to sabrina, except for the fact that i still have that teeny faith that wants me to be nice and everything to her. it's hard for me to accept herfor who she is, and not for who she presumbly want to be, or likes. i cannot say for the same for everyone. but i still think that everything i've said was really from my heart. i couldn't take the fact that you told almost everyone abt michelle. it's pretty insensitive and i hope you could learn and change. i've tried changing. it's hard, i know. and people are obviously making me apologise to you. but i don't want to. cos really, i can't bring myself to. i wish you could have been nicer. i haven't anymore to say, except that i don't want to have anything to do with you anymore, cos i haven't any right to say more.

a dream, is a dream your heart makes.

notes to you.

2004-09-09T13:27:00.000+08:00

to anonymous, whatever. even if the sky dropped, i don't care. and if you think i thought of myself to be mature and everything, then you can continue doing so. cos i DON'T. and i do not accquire such people on my tagboard. and i do not deserve such nice wonderful people here too. what do you think? i've got nothing to say to you anymore. since everything's falling apart, and i wouldn't bother about salvagining this whole damned problem. i have no rights to interfere and that's it. end of story for you and me. goodbye.

personailty!

2004-09-08T13:49:00.000+08:00

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

wow. my personality is so laid back and everything. haha.

shits.

2004-09-07T18:24:00.000+08:00

sometimes, do you even notice that you are so insensitive to the people you talk to? you're unaware of this, obviously. and it shows that you, take no effort in trying to change, except for that few days. and now, you're back to the old days. i mean, what nonsense is this? do you even realise that everything michelle told you was not to be told to anybody and only being kept between you and her? do you even know how upset she was? i bet you don't.heck, i don't even think you are fit to keep people's secrets. we are like compromising you so much that i've come to a halt whether to compromise you further. and apparently, you are not tryint hard enough to make me compromise. fine, i admit that i've been showing you attitudes after the army thing. cos i've enough of your charcoal-papaya-pissed off face. do you think i like your attitude? no. i've been tolerating this since school reopened. and guess what? i don't think you're ever going to apologise. cos you always think that you're getting blamed for no rhyme or reason. and you're wrong. cos whenever i show you attitude, it's because of you that i have a bad day. if you aren't happy, then could you like not show it in the morning? it's really depressing for me to see you in such a depressed mode. and hello? i do appreciate you. i give you treats, get stuff for you, and everything. fine if you think i don't. cos all the times we went together, i did tolerate all your shits. and please, i'm accomodating you a lot. and so is michelle. we're not pissed off if you told everyone our secrets you know, and you keep repeating it. and this time, i'm really pissed off. if you say you're siding us, then show us you mean it. and don't contradict your actions. oh, and please stop giving me your pissed off looks, cos it's the last thing on earth i want to see. urgh.

got it off my mind. and feeling much better. just go away, leave me alone, and stop being such a big mouth and telling everyone about michelle. she treats you like a real good friend and you treat her like this? inhuman.

criteria?

2004-09-06T11:01:00.000+08:00

Your ideal partner. Please provide your most truthful answers.
[1] How well must he/she know u?
well enough!
[2] Does looks counts?
depends lorr. (:
[3] Must he/she have an X-Factor?
as in? heh. depends. :D
[4] Drive a car/bike?
mm. taking the public transport ain't that bad!
[5] Go clubbing often?
heh. see first can?
[6] Feel secure with him/her?
obviously!
[7] Good at cracking jokes?
hmm. maybe.
[8] Should he/she be always spending all his/her time with u?
nah.
[9] Conservative towards you?
like?
[10] A quick thinker?
nahh. i can't catch up! heee... :D
[11] Should he/she have a good sense of dressing?
yeah.
[12] Preferbably what kind of hairstyle? Including colour.
whatever larh.
[13] Should he/she be the one making decisions all the time?
maybe. um. but can i have a mind of my own too?
[14] Romantic?
yes! can anot?
[15] Shy?
not too shy would do fine, thank you.
[16] Hot-Tempered?
NO!
[17] Loud or Quiet?
both. but wells, it depends!
[18] Generous or Stingy?
generous.
[19] Kind or Heartless?
definitely KIND.
[20] Cute or Sweet?
sweet. and cute.
[21] Vain or Casual?
anything.
[22] Punk or Hipster?
heh?
[23] Smart or Stupid?
smart. but not against me. heh.
[25] *For girls* Must he dress up all the time?
as long as he's presentable, yes.
[26] Should he/she pamper u?
yeah. but not spoil.
[27] Should he/she be open minded when speaking to u?
not really larh.
[28] Should he/she be well-educated?
yeah. duhh-
[29] Good Looking+Dumb OR Ugly+Intelligent
whatever. as long as i like it! ;p
[30] Possessive+faithful OR Freedom+unfaithful
faithful. and have a bit of freedom?
[31] Childish+Caring OR Mature+Ignorant
don't know. but as long it's not bad kay?
[32] Should you be able to see a future ahead for u 2?
hmm? thought what we lived was for the present! heh. ya larh.
[33] Do u think this kind of girl/guy exists?
don't know, don't care, till i see it for myself.
[34] If yes, have u met him/her?
nope. i haven't seen yet!
[35] If no, do u think u will be able to meet him/her?
guess so. but everyone has his or her flaws. ((:

name.

2004-09-06T10:53:00.000+08:00

P - You are very friendly and understanding.
R - You like to laugh.
I - You are always smiling & making others smile.
S - You are very broad-minded.
C - You definitely have a partier side in you,dont be shy to show it.
A - You love to make the people around you happy and cheerful.

woot! my name! heh. spells a nicer part of me eh? haha. love it. :D

notes.

2004-09-06T10:15:00.000+08:00

listening to Qi Li Xiang now. gawd. why am i so into Jay Chou now. argh, my life's falling apart now. it seems that now i understand why the sec ones think that she's a bitch. and are avoiding who-ever-it-is. well i guess, it was really never meant to be this way. but it turned out really bad and i've already exploded my brains outta the matter. and obviously, i don't give a shit about this issue cos it really doesn't concern me, or anything of mine. and i think it's really mean of you to just turn your back and ignore michelle and pamela because of one stupid sec one whom we all don't like. urgh. this is so turning me off. and yes, i don't care if you ever did try to change yourself. cos i don't see any effort except for those days you said you would. urkk. i feel so disgusted being with you. urgh. i didn't mean to say that, but too bad, sorry, i wouldn't want to take back my words cos it's from me. and it's really mean of you to just but your stupid junior in first priority, cos in the end, you're gonna lose out on this friendship, cos you're not gonna have anyone stand by your side when you need friends. i don't care who you're gonna side, but i just don't want to have anything to do with that girl. goodbye.

grossed out.

2004-09-05T21:39:00.000+08:00

i cannot believe this.
this really rocks and it's so beautiful. obviously, i'm talking about yesterday's wedding. yeah. i found my flavour. but i haven't gotten my prize, yet. hee. it's a pretty wedding, of course, but some people just got really fed up and decided to STONE. urgh. why do people get so stoned when it comes to dance? weirds.
and this morning when i woke up, i felt really pissed off more than before, and yes, i definitely wasn't in a good mood. till i met my mummy's friends. mm hmm. they're so funny!! hee. went for bowling and swimming. and the stupid dumb boy couldn't bowl and wanted to bowl. and couldn't swim. and after looking at him, ew, i just thought of sitting at the jacuzzi and try to swim a little too. urgh. on the way to traders i thank God he wasn't with me. ate buffet lunch (the sashimi was darn good.) and had a little special concoction for the stupid boy, but he didn't want it. argh. darn. it looked pretty gross. hah. he pooed on himself on the way to kaki bukit. ew. that's really gross.

and somebody really pissed me off for a big reason. irritating me is really bad. cos you'll see my attitudes. hahah. anyway. being pissed off for now. hopei'll feel better later. (:

love my heck care attitudes.

sweetest things.

2004-09-03T23:14:00.000+08:00

My Song.
i didn't expect you to be there;
and i didn't imagine you to respond in that manner.
i've found a newer, better friend to be with,
talking and sharing the bad times together.

the rocking good times,
the cursed bad times.
they were all present, but you sat through those with me.
i wished you were there longer,
but you went as fast as wind.

you'll always be there for me right??
i'm afraid i'll lose you one day.
maybe i'm wrong.
but i hope, you'll be there till i leave this beautiful place, earth. (:

to my sweetest sweethearts. cos everyone is writing like 'our song', 'your song' and whateverrr... hee. so anyway. i love all my sweet darlings. (: take care.

pissed off.

2004-09-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

i really don't understand what's wrong you know. this sucks and it will never be salvaged. cos i guess, she's not taking any effort to, and i dont see any appreciativeness in her at all. urgh. this sucks. big time.
maybe if i didn't show her attitude, do you even think she'll change. urgh. i wish this never started. i feel a big strain on this friendship. maybe cos i don't feel comfortable with it at first kay. then now, it's a total strain on me. i don't wish to put a greater strain on myself. so i'm just gonna write some letter to her and ask her why. mm. good idea. ah wells. even then. i'll see a papaya face everyday after that. urgh.
whatever. it all sucks. and i don't care already cos she sucks too. even if someone calmed me down now, i wouldn't care. cos all she cares is butting in. and leaking out CONFIDENTIAL stuffs. urgh.

bloddy pissed.

sucks!!!

2004-09-02T21:11:00.000+08:00

esshh. i guess everything seems really bad for me. i screwed up my life, i'm doing everything wrong and i'm not a good girl. i can't seem to read my bible in proper notations, and i can tell my life is literally ripping apart. apart from other things, i guess.... yeahh. it's really badd. ohh wells. i haven't done my flash and i'm so tired that i can't do it. well i hope my daddy can help... well, it doesn't look that way. argh. this sucks.

i wish that my birthday wishes were coming true. but i guess, it wouldn't. cos they're all really... material. whatever it is. i just hope i could treat all these like they're for my benefits. not to my downfall. argh. my brain stopped functioning, and i think my fever's back into action. whatever. i can't stand my brain. and i tell you, it's gonna die off soon!! too much stress. urkk. hope i don't faint tml morning. urghh. it sucks.

life and everything sucks. for now.

butter heaven.

2004-08-31T21:08:00.000+08:00

i have two lovely kids with me now. hm. they're pretty talkative though. mm hmm. and yeah, was kinda discussing eileen's wedding. gawd. her wedding invite is so nice can? with feathers and all... rocks. well maybe if it was some other coulour it would have been nicer. ah wells. i think i've got to decorate it, then do my compeition art piece. (: mm hmm. rocks. as if it does. essh.
and yes, i believe my blog hasn't been done yet. uh huh. ah wells. patience is a virtue, isn't it? yeah. guess life isn't that sad, after all. was a pretty nice day. 'cept i got really pissed off after english. urgh. i need to swear big time. not that i never swaered before in my whole life. 'cept that i'm going to explode soon. if i don't clear my chunk up, i wonder how in the world am i going to survive till i graduate. argh. this sucks. really badly. and i hope by the time i do my retail therapy tomorrow, hope i'll feel much much better, and not cheese anyone or make myself feel angry or whatever. well, hopefully. i've been pissed with her these few days cos she wasn't reasonable. and maybe for the fact that i wasn't in a good mood. and she being too kaypoh. urgh. i can't it anymore. i'm getting so horribly irritated and i can't possibly see eye to eye with her. whatever. so mad i can't get it off my head. butter smell is getting in to my head and i'm in butter heaven. mm. yummy.

it's karene's birthday tomorrow. happy birthday, Karene! eesshh. like some mad fan saying 'happy birthday' to their idol. cute eh, 'cept i don't have. an idol. currently. :D okayy. since it's also teachers' day i'll also say happy teachers' day!! gee, i'm weird. :D well, basically i am. but sometimes not. (:
sarah sam is my darling. hee. cute eh! cos i haven't do up her tag board. so i can't tag her. and i can't log in to her account. so yeah. mm. now felt like saying some heartfelt THANKEWS to everybodyy. (: since sarah's name's here, so i shall start. sarah is my litttle angel. she's so cute can. yeah. lovely girl. 'cept sometimes she's just a little bit weird, which i don't blame, cos everyone is weird in a way or another!! hee. i love my darling. yeah. we're the smartest too. ((: hee. love ya baby!
michelle yee. mm hmm. she's all the while tolerating my crap. yeah. and yesterday i kept crushing up her papers. hee... sorry ah. my daily crapper, lifetime entertainer, and my sweetest girl of all. and michelle yee is such a sweetheart. she stood by me!! hah. yeah. talk to one another too... duhh- and laugh at the stupidest thing everytime we see each other. no matter what, guess she'll have to 'endure' all my crap eh! and yes, she does give lame jokes sometimes. but yeah... she's always giving th helping hand... a peacemaker at heart! love her tons.
eunice choww. superbly smart. i wonder why too, but she just is. give the weirdest advices but do make sense in all times; like the say what you mean, and mean what you say, but don't be mean when you say it. haha. that made my day. no matter how crappy life is, or how we are, we'll just all stick together and everything. she can just text me the slightest issue, and we'll talk. over text. funny how we do all that... but yeah, like chelle, she tolerates me as well as chelle. :D love you loads!
pamela ng. never failed to intrigue me with anything. key note: she's interesting. with loads of fun and laughter. gee, am i boosting your ego already? (: we are so lame. we do the lamest things together actually. laughs at the stupid things we do, try to make taf sessions not so boring till i fall asleep... and never fail to make me feel so..... irritated... with chinese songs. esp. ou de yang. hahaha. funny lorr she. nice art works too. and go look at her blog. beautiful horse. (: love you lots!
dionna lee. this lame pig always has something up her sleeve everytime we have pe or something. and start laughing at the stupidest things on earth. when we laugh, she doesn't. and she laughs, we don't. so maybe there's something wrong with her la. hee. kidding. she's so funny lorr. can't stand it. and so artsy, and creative! argh. so good... hee. and she's really a gem!! yeahh. love you too sweetie.

sorry, try to fit in somemore next time can? sorryyy.

wish i could be in butter heaven.

non-spamming blameless.

2004-08-31T16:31:00.000+08:00

we so did not spam kerrie's blog. and yes, i would like to say that this unfair accusation has been going on for how long? God knows. i don't care who is going to see this. but who cares. if you think spamming up people's board is darn cool, gee, then think, cos we're darn innocent and we're not that free to go on spamming marathons okayy.
and yes, please clarify possible, instead of falsely accusing 3/8 of spamming. thank you very much.

claify, for God's sake.

rejected, for good.

2004-08-30T18:29:00.000+08:00

rejection. gee, how many million times have i been through this? people say i've been like this since don't know when. basically, i think my sane mind has gone into this depressed mode, or rather, insane. maybe i am, i don't know. but i really felt like swearing out loud now. many things have happened and i wonder why too. maybe i should go ask God why too. perhaps He gave me rejection for a sense of building myself up to be someone stronger. i shouldn't be blaming anyone for this. guess all i have to blame, is myself for being like this. darn.
i want to cry. it's been turned upside down. i want my whole new world. i'm so afraid my biggest fear comes. that i haven't anyone to just stay by me. cos i guess, i haven't been there for them. my life's like a carousel now. spinning round and round, like a normal routine out of which i could never remember. if life was a little more amusing.

God has more plans for me then i have for myself. sometimes it's so hard to convince myself that the One up there is greater than i am. wish this wasn't happening. if it was more than i could expect, i wouldn't have such a bad horrible time. true bliss lives in me, and me alone. life's a bliss to many, but to me, guess it isn't that great. i wish that life could be a better place for me. i couldn't be more than who i am, which is so hard. wish everything was back, to my old lovely childhood. where i could play, learn and grow alone without the sophistication of the world.

rejected for good, yet, true bliss lives in me.

changed blog!

2004-08-30T17:07:00.000+08:00

helloo all! i've changed to this addess as follows; pul-chritude.blogspot.com. please change links. cos if not, you'll only be stuck on sunday the 29th. thanks a lot!

and btw, we did not spam her board. well, let me repeat that if it isn't clear. WE DID NOT SPAM HER BOARD. we've let the matter rest, and that, is what we've promised. so yes, if you think we're on this little 'mission' to go spam her board, please, we're not.

like as if we're darn free.

the day's great!

2004-08-29T00:01:00.000+08:00

sometimes it's bad to say bad stuff about people. well, if you are those straightforward type of people. then maybe you won't have the right to lie about anyone's character. ah wells. whatever it is, it still isn't nice to call people bitches or anything like it. (:

had some teachers' appreciation buffet just now. wasn't that nice, cos it was hot and stuffy and i wasn't that all hungry, since i ate lunch late. :D saw my jie. and saw her daddy. heh. while practicing guitar halfway, the guitar thingy dropped on Jolene's head. near the eye. uh huh. she was like... ''owww......'' then she bent down. cos it was darn pain. hahah. then suddenly all went quiet. mm hm. yeah. had a really fun day.... michelle's mother gave birth to daling ASHLEE FAITH YEE. :D yeahh. must be a really pretty girl next time... and a real lucky girl! get nice stuffs from her older sisters and all.... (: and if it's your younger sister, gawd, i think it's darn good to see how your youngest sister grows up to be one of you. yeah. it's privilege. duhhh- then what do you expect? more. heh. and practiced more for cgl's wedding. can't wait. oh wait. lemme recall. uh huh! wednesday gonna go shopping with my mother. mm. and tml going to ACM. urkkk. i'm freaking myself out. darn it.
anyway, i think i'm going to bring my mum to see that forty dollars fila spring-summer collection in either raffles sity shopping centre or wisma atria. yeah. love fila a hella lot. and i think, it the colours are pretty. caught my teeny eyes while coming out of topshop. funny how i like it, but wells. gonna save and buy it. (:

okayy. said my piece. hope ashlee faith grows up soon. (:

who?

2004-08-27T20:48:00.000+08:00

well i do agree with what sarah said. ah whatever. i'm crapping online with two poeple. and that, is so stupid. both my servants are crapping non-stop online. hahaha. it's awfully funny. and now. my dear servant mosann is so crappy. darn. he's horribly funny. xD laughing lorr. and then amy's his servant. hah. darn funny.
ah wells. the crab is in the house! heehee. yeah. anyways. tml have guitar. and bloddy hell taf. stupid can. i so don't like it. urgh. and who in the world is twinxsmilex@hotmail.com? urgh. please identify. thanks. toodles.

270804

2004-08-27T15:57:00.000+08:00

stephanie howe : for ur info, i didnt mention to you tht i didnt tell anyone. and besides, i told mich. isnt she one of your good friend? isnt she whom you will write mushy meaningful poems or letters to? why cant i break the news to her? why cant i? so whats with you now, trying to hint tht u dont trust her? and i said u look like an opera artiste. Recall. i NEVER said u look nice. i said u LOOK ALRIGHT. it wasnt me who said u look nice.RECALL AND THINK. it was dee who said it was nice. i DID NOT. stop assuming and put words in my mouth. another thing, if u dont want people to know about a new change in your face, then WHY ON EARTH did u shape it? If u do not want to let people see ur shaped eyebrows, then WHAT'S the point of shaping it?! and ur excuse" i dont talk to her, doesnt mean i am pissed with her". is tooo old. think of a new one ok?? im getting sick of it. EVERY OTHER DAY u give me your annoyed face, u said u want to change.. and told me that its impossible to change in a short period of time. BUT THE PROB IS. U ARENT EVEN TRYING. and, doesnt mean pris took back her discman, u can call her a bitch. u have no right to say such stuff and u have ABSOLUTE NO RIGHT to say tht God is crazy. dont try and lie and say tht *bitch* was to be refered to prisca. dont push everything around cus ppl have ears. so what if u knew sth about me?? so what if mel and all cant make it to escape theme park?? tht too doesnt give u THE RIGHT to name them bitches. so what if u knew sth about me? so what?! i know i didnt do something CHEAP, ur actions are COMPROMISING. ANd, who's trying to act innocent here? you or me??further more, if u want to delete my testimonials from me to you, then why on earth did u press me for one?! u said u were not in gd terms with me becus of other things. now WHAT. thought u said' i dont get angry over MINOR things'. and thought u said u have forgotten the past. so, now what?! dont u think ur statements are a little too contradicting?! i knew u did sth bad in someone's board. i knew U WERE the one who spammed it. but i didnt mention it to u cus it might put u in an uncomfortable spot. and i accept u for who u are but apparently, ur actions changed my opinion. ever heard of' actions speak louder than words'? im partly wrong too. u spilt the soup on me.. did i give u my white eye balls? when my arm had a bruise, did i blame you? when i came back late from far east, did i give u an indifferent attitude?sometimes, u have to question yourself first, before judging others. do some soul searching stephanie.have given u lotsa chances and all. u jus took it for granted and took advantage of it. if u say u want to change, MEAN IT. - from sarah

vulgaries.

2004-08-27T15:33:00.000+08:00

gee, i would nod my head if you were to say that life sucks. and being called a bitch isn't that nice. but who cares. maybe i should take it as a compliment, since i don't get to be called a bitch like everyday! haha. *grins* and anyway, for that person, no matter what you're gonna say about me, hell, i don't give a bloddy damn shit. cos you're the one insulting God, and nothing can stop you if you want to say anything bad about me. yours will be back one day. trust me, and i give you my word. if you're gonna say that about me once more, ha, maybe you're one too.
ah wells, it's bloody ladies' disease again. and i don't like it. haha, since it's that, maybe i don't have to care whatever they say eh? anyway, being yourself is most important. and yeah. next week have some cluster arts thingy. and i don't wanna go, cos it's gonna take up so much of my time. and i don't really like our school's performing arts. hee(: and yeah.
and i've got to go pass michelle her biology notes.... toodles for now. (:

call me a bitch? you are one too. (:

procrastination!!!!

2004-08-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

goshh. i'm so upset. so, so, so upset. don't ask me why, cos i really don't know the darn reason. it's been bugging me like a million days. and i think it's because of my lousy pms that's causing me this stupid, horrid, and irritating problems. i shouted at the sec ones today, i lost control of my sane mind, as well as so many things. sorry to those i've made upset and all.
in the bus michelle was talking about her jc friend. omg. she's so freaking me out. can't tell you here. cos i promised not to say. cos i think she confides in me quite a bit... don't she? hee. (: love her a hella lot. don't ask me why i love her to the core. cos i do! (: i so miss talking to her over the phone. so sadd. arghh. i haven't done my social studies homework. and i think i'm really, really, for the first time in my life, procrastinating. okay, i do procrastinate, but this is the biggest in this lifetime. urkk. i'm freaking myself out too. ):
making this short so i can go rush out the stupid assignment after i log out. my dad's scolding me, and i don't want them to see my lousy lousy biology test i studied so hard for. it's unfair. i could have scored higher, but this time, i think i didn't study hard enough. what the hell. i hate studying so hard for it now. ah wells. getting over it with 24 for maths. darn happy. and now will get off to do my work. toodles.

stuck onto Jay, and i hope to get out this soon!

what the hell.

2004-08-25T15:43:00.000+08:00

Tonight it's very clear
Cause we're both lying here
There's so many things I wanna say
I will always love you
I would never leave you alone

Sometimes I just forget
Say things I might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't wanna lose you
I could never make it alone

CHORUS
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love

You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero
Your've been dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together that we did it all
for the glory of love

It's like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time I will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

I am the man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero that your dreaming of
We're gonna live for ever
Knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
We'll live forever
Knowing together
That we did it all for the glory of love
We did it all for love

peter cetera, glory of love.

nice song eh? think we're gonna do this for her wedding. ah wells. i just think it's stupid to call some teacher into this settle-ourselves kinda problem. sigh. obviously, it's pure dumbshit to call someone older than you to earn the respect from someone younger. logical? no. i don't even think that way. even if you call me to die, i wouldn't even want to. urkk. this is really gross. if you could just look at us and explain to us what the hell you want. we gave you due respect by not spamming it already. what the hell. i don't care and i don't bother anymore. call me anything you like, cos i'm not gonna give you the respect you want. and i like it that way. stupid *****.

what the hell you want now?

if you could only...

2004-08-22T17:48:00.000+08:00

wow! the weding for my cgl is in like two weeks! darn happy. haha. i've only got two weeks for a special item. sighh. so little time leh. i don't like!! darn it. might as well, get my free mind to do some work! :D ah wells, time passes really fast yesterday, and eunice chow ate so slow! gawdd, why do i have such slow friends. haha. but her shoes rocks so much. satin ribbons tied with a pink shoe. so pretty. and did quite anumber of shopping. (: oh. she bought this really nice ripcurl wallet with a mirror in it. so nice!
i think i'm so falling in love with the spring-summer fila bag. darn. it's so nice. and cheap! for that sling bag, it's only 39.90? gawd. i so want that. gee, and my mummy owes ne a bag, that'll be really perrfect. heehee.
ohh wells, i think i shall say sorry to whoever i've offended, and if this isn't enough, then i'll just talk to you or something. sigh, no wonder my life is falling apart so much! maybe not falling. it's getting ripped apart by so many things... and i wonder if this would hurry end.

sad to say, i haven't been really nice and all that i've expected myself to be. i haven't changed, neither have i been a good and sensitive person since the time i said i would try to. well if i haven't reached it, when will i? it's not gonna be possible for me, cos i haven't found the core reason why i'm like this. if i knew, i would already try my very best to be what you want me to be. a model friend? she isn't there to shopw me how i could be a better friend, well, unless you decide that you want to show me. but if that isn't possible, then how to change to be a better one? if i weren't at this stage, would you still be my friend? seems like impossible. how am i gonna face you ever again if i don't apologise, if i don't admit my mistakes? i've been thinking about this, and i've come to a conclusion, that it takes two hands to clap. i've tried accomodating to you, but have you? i think you have accomodated a lot for me, and i thank you for that. all in all, if you thought that i was your friend, i was, and i really really did appreciate you to the very last. sorry.

if you could see, what i see.

wish i knew.

2004-08-19T21:32:00.000+08:00

urgh. this is such a horrid day. and it can't any worse. i so totally hate it when people don't get caught for something wrong that they did. oh wells. they'll see. who's the one. gawd. i think my whold entire life is so falling apart. it's so difficult to stay close to each other. and now, i think it's even harder to even talk to her. life seems so bad for me, i don't even know what can i do about it. pray? probably. what else can i do except for that? well unless you have a better suggestion to my problem, then your brain must really be from God's. hah. what rubbish am i talking.
and anyway. i've thought about stuff already. and yeah, maybe it's the time for me to shift back to another server. i've enough of blogspot. i'm starting to think about my life and it's purposes. and i wonder why did God even give me life in the first place. sigh. why is life so bad now? probably because i haven't seem to enjoy it yet. ah wells. might as well leave it. darn. in a depressed state now and i can't get my brain to go out of it.

evermore my heart my heart will say
above all
i live for Your glory
even if my world falls i will say
above all,
i live for Your glory.

if we're living for God's glory, why then the suffering? maybe if my world falls then i'll know that i would have lived this life for God's glory. sometimes it's so hard to do things His way. oh wells. maybe i am. i'm being too free nowadays. and yeah. so i think i did stuff to make people irritated, pissed and all. moreover, i guess, i've been wanting more attention these days, for no rhyme of reason. my brain isn't working, and i guess, my life pretty much sucks, but yeah, i so must remind myself that my life don't. who am i contradicting. myself. obviously.
however, as much effort i put in, it isn't as much as i want it to be. i wanted good results. and what did i get? lousy ones. chemistry pretty much sucks big time. but i guess, to prove kh wrong, and to someone that i can, i'll do my best, well, at least for now. so much for professional entertainment.

i wish you were just there sitting beside me,
talking the most out of our lives.
it doesn't mean that being near is secure,
but at least, you are there, by my side.

for if i fall, you do pick me up
for if i cry, you lend me a shoulder.
for if i say, i would want you be my side,
will you be there for me?

wish life wasn't all that bad
that you would remain as you, and i as i,
becoming clean and truthful
is not really that all pretty,
but at least, you know my flaws.
( i don't know what i was typing, but yeah. for your enjoyment. )

wish i knew how to cure this.

if i were.....

2004-08-17T17:19:00.000+08:00

If I were a stone, I would be : crystal. oh no, a diamond. :D
If I were a tree, I would be : who knows? i'm just an old standing useful tree. (:
If I were a bird, I would be : hm. flamingo. pink eh.
If I were a machine, I would be: driller. or a computer. not against any modern technology.
If I were a tool, I would be : the hammer. cos i would like to hammer those irritating theives out there!
If I were a flower/plant, I would be : hm. a gebera. the one that looks like a sunflower, but it isn't.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: cloudy. see a bit of sun and it's cooling!
If I were a mythical creature, I would be : human? or God. haha.
If I were a musical instrument, I would be : the drums. they're my darlings!!
If I were an animal, I would be a : none. i'm kinda neutral towards them, but i wouldn't be one.
If I were a color, I would be : red. dark red. darn nice.
If I were an emotion, I would be : depends?
If I were a vegetable, I would be : broccoli. they're greenish and they prevent cancer. hehe.
If were a sound, I would be : hm. the sound of talking or singing to God.
If I were a car, I would be : a porche, saab convertible or the volkswagen beetle one!
If I were a movie, I would be : twins effect part two.
If I were a food, I would be : chips. or the tortillas.
If I were a place, I would be : in heaven with God. can?
If I were a material, I would be : clothes material lorr.
If I were a taste, I would be: sweet. heh heh.
If I were a scent, I would be : lavender. or something nice.
If I were a religion, I would be : Christianity.
If I were a word, I would be : rocking good.
If I were an object, I would be : the phone cos it's useful.
If I were a body part I would be : the red blood cells for efficient oxygen transportation.
If I were a facial expression I would be : heh? haiya, i'll be happy la.
If I were a subject in school I would be : biology. cos there's so much to learn and it's kinda fascinating.
If I were a cartoon character I would be : the monsters' inc. big furry character, boo, dora the explorer, zoe!
If I were a number I would be : 55. haha. or some number.
If I were a month I would be : august.
If I were a day of the week I would be : fridays.
If I were a time of day : midnight.
If I were a planet I would be: earth. or mars so i can see martians.
If I were a direction I would be : neither. i don't like any la. cos i haven't any sense of direction(:
If I were a piece of furniture would be a: sofa.
If I were a sin I would be : neither, i want to be perfect. (:
If I were a song I would be : you make me want to fall in love (f.i.r) and clay aiken's invisible. haha.
If I were a weed I would be : grass. are they weeds??
If I were a horse I would be : running on the big green grassfields freely.
If I were a Disney movie I would be : heh. i don't know. finding nemo?
If I were a Disney character I would be : dory! she's such a sweet fish. ha.
If I were a type of medicine I would be: paracetamol. or a medicine to cure every disease. (:
If I were a type of gas I would be : methane. hahahaha!!!!
If I were a type of doctor I would be a : neither. cos i want to be a nurse. (:

done with it. yeah. and everyone is like super lame today? oh, and my hunger buster is like.... depleting. faster than the earth depletes it all. sigh. i must find more contributors. ): oh wells. got to go le. glad dee's gonna do the layout for me(: yeahh. i love her tons. thanks dearie!

if i were you, i would turn away and fly away.

top threess.

2004-08-13T17:23:00.000+08:00

Top 3 favourite websites.
1. my own blog. :D
2. my shared blog, http:// twinkly-bubs.blogspot.com
3. whosever blog i visit lor. (:

TOP 3 Favourite songs on playlist
1. hm, lydia (F.I.R)
2. glory of love. (peter something(:)
3. pieces of me (ashlee simpson)

TOP 3 Food
1. pasta rocks.
2. more pasta.
3. something cakey. ?

TOP 3 Drink
1. water (gee, i'm so healthy!)
2. ribena. haha.
3. iced lemongrass tea. an all-time favourite(:

TOP 3 Snack
1. chips.
2. chocolates.
3. the food bank's food.

TOP 3 Indoor activities
1. onlining. hee :D
2. the tv.
3. write my journal. (:

TOP 3 Outdoor activities
1. shopping.
2. trying to make outings. heh. isn't that indoor?
3. trying to run, but it doesn't really help. :D

TOP 3 Accessories (that you own)
1. a handphone, which is so quiet during weekdays, that i forget i have one.
2. my little netted purse from projectshopBloodbros. ((:
3. pink bracelet. and green one also. :D

TOP 3 Major expenses
1. neoprints.
2. my bills. though it's being paid by my parents.
3. clothes. duhh, of course, then what do i wear?

TOP 3 Personalities of your own
1. fun. funny?
2. easy-going. heh.
3. always laughing!

Top 3 most important people
1. my darlink twin. haha(:
2. friends. duhh-
3. family lorr.

Top 3 favourite hangout places
1. town.
2. anywhere but the school. haha.
3. home lorr. ):

Top 3 brands that i like
1. topshop.
2. zara.
3. heh. does brand even matter?

Top 3 favourite soccer players
1. owen. he's hot! x)
2. rooney. but he's not so. hee.
3. anymore? baros? hahahahah.

Top 3 soccer clubs that i like:
1. liverpool. ROCK ON.
2. LIVERPOOL.
3. ROCKS.

Top 3 soccer clubs that i hate:
1. DOT.
2. dot.
3. better not say. later i kena punched in the eye. haha.

Top 3 favourite colours
1. black.
2. silver.
3. red.

wah. i haven't done this in a long while. heh heh. heck, yesterday was so messed up. my drums beats weren't that accurate, and i couldn't play. urgh. and don't know just what is wrong with me, and i just can't play it for nuts. urgh.

what's wrong?

2004-08-12T21:11:00.000+08:00

hellooo! i'm back in action(: anyway. i'm just fooling around with the tools on the entry(: haha. ah wells, today is such a hot and tiring day! oh wells, as long as i pass my chinese test, that will do very fine le :D hah!
anyway... i have a bbq this saturday. darn cool! yeah. giving my cgl a little 'party' to bid a farewell to singlehood. ehh. this is darn cool. hm, can't wait for her wedding to start! haha. then no need to tease her being with a vegetable anymore. hm. naughty little girls((: ah. and i can't wait for saturday. and i think going out for movie marathons are the coolest (well not reallyy.... but i like) thing ever. well, only last year i had one. and ever since that, i haven't anymore! haha. this is so lame. haven't anything to blog le. shocking! anyway, blogging still goes one what! haha.

deciding if i should change to another layout. hm, i don't know... but well, as long as i see the butterfly picture, i'm contented as much! (: okies. i've got to do some other stuff. ciao.

butterflies in the air.

life, isn't a bed of roses.

2004-08-10T15:47:00.000+08:00

heh. my layout doesn't seem too bad, doesn't it? haha. i just re-did my layout. cos the previous one was a bit too... plain. i need a little more than that! haha(: talked a bit to Grace yesterday night. then was telling her how much i missed the WP! aw. anyway. the malacca trip's still very much stuck in my head. and i'll never forget those nights when i talked a whole lot of crap to mich. heh heh. now you know(:
i miss everything about town. now i have this really weird feeling about going town. cos i have this craving for more retail therapy. and also, a movie therapy. i wanted to go watch on iwth mel, but heck, cutting my hair was more important(: haha. not that my friends are less important than myself, but if i don't get the hair cut, miss kang would start chasing me.:D haha. diaO anyways.(:
argh. i felt like skipping taf once more. but it isn't that all bad... they're quite flexible already. and skating would most probably start in a couple of weeks or so. and so i was also watching this late night show on ch 55 on scv, and i was feeling really sad for the guy who didn't know his own wife was the mistress of his best friend. hm, everything seems weird.. i'm like telling dramas about love. haha. ah wells. so sad okayy. and yeah, i'll never get to catch that ch 56 show- the outsiders. doesn;t really catch my attention, well unless they have subtitles, english or chinese, doesn't matter. cos if they don't have, i'll feel darn lost and would very much not want to watch it anymore. sounds lame? of course(:

anyway. i used to love those kiddy rides downstairs. they look pretty distorted, or they all sound the same. the ones at arcades are much more fun. cos they'll play nice kiddy songs. hah. the rides are like fifty cents? haha. i used to like them. i wonder why i'm talking about them, but since we're already here, never mind(: haha. anyway. they're going going extinct, 'cept for some makmak shops.they're nice to ride.... but it seems, that by the time we all have kids, they may be well gone. heh.
my childhood, sad to say, was pretty much boring. haha. i didn't eat toothpaste! haha. sounds really fun. maybe not now, but heck, you can experiment with the kids! i like my new haircut. nice(: and yeahh. i think going back in time would be very much enjoyable, but without the hurts and pains and obstacles along the way, it would be a bed of roses. heh, but life isn't that way, so let's just live it to the fullest. just like m1; one life. live it(: rock on. i don't make sense, but well, it's fun to be me(:

life isn't a bed of roses.

2004-08-10T15:25:00.000+08:00

changed layout. nice right?? gimme your comments.((:

dreaming of youu.

2004-08-10T00:30:00.000+08:00

Man has failed many times, but God hasn't failed me. i'm really amazed at myself to see how i could survive such a heartbreaking time. heh. why talk about heartbrokeness? i really wonder. it seems like i've grown more attached to being myself more and more, and just being alone for the past day. i've been pondering for days, and it seems, that i have straightened out my thoughts about sunday evening; and decided to start carrying on with my life. seems easy to say, but it ain't easy to carry that out. i wish that was such a medicine to cure heartaches. ((:
i thought that everything was smooth-sailing for me. but i was wrong. needless to say, i've seen many, but i haven't seen anyone so heartless and insensitive. heck, i didn't even know that kind of person ever existed in this life. i ain't sounding myself anymore......... and i think i'm really going crazy all over again.
this week's gonna be packed again, and packing up my schedule is a very good thing. cosbeing busy can get my brain off the things i don't want to think of. i've cried for hours over a stupid matter, and time to move on with ren sheng... and get on with choir auditions! heh heh. i can't wait for it to happen. hm, but i'll just hope the auditions can gate-crash((: hee hee. up till now. i don't think i'll ever get enough to be over it. hope i can....:D

i think the 9pm show on channel 8 is really touching. touching in the sense that Jiankang would give up his own happiness and give way to his own rival in love. gee, sounds super soap. but it's really very wei da to give up the person you like to someone else. and that, to me, is the biggest thing in life i wish to learn; as well as the most gracious thing on earth to do. well unless you are the really kind soul to put others before yourself. but to me, that ain't possible. but with God's strength, everything is possible, isn't it? well, i just thought of sharing that lovely thought(:
i'm really stuck onto F.I.R. hah, i'm making people feel super nauseous now! haha(: yeah. cutting hair tml. fringe and all... very cool! ;P ah wells, who cares. not like as if i'm oing for extreme makeover. well if that was the case, i wou;d definitely want to get myself slimmed down, get the pimples off my face. well, if it's all sponsored for, that is(: hah. but why should i go for it? to just earn that slim fitting self, and moreover, it wastes money. but wells. taking the risk is also worth right? haha. just want to be an anorexic. heh, i don't know what i'm thinking. but it seems funny to throw up at the sight of food. to love and to loathe is different, so how? i don't know. i'm feeling depressed. and i don't want myself anymore. *sobs*

why does it always happen to me?

happy birthday to me.

2004-08-08T22:21:00.000+08:00

i kinda forgot to blog yesterday, and a very special day to me. ah wells. yesterday was really fun, but rushed from one shop to another cos we couldn't find what we want, and had little time to. oh well. as long as i get something for myself, i'm fine. i do what i deem fit with the things i bought. sorta. i got a notebook for myself (by which, it was paid by eunice) and some project shop thingy which mich bought for me. and while shopping, michelle yee decided that we should (we- as in, mich, amy and me) meet amy's sweetheart. aww, sweet right? thought so.
anyway, i felt really depressed just now. without a reason. i think i knew the reason, but who cares, i have this feeling it's PMS again. hmph. PMS is just.... dumb. makes me feel like as if it's some permanent disease for women. (well, i don't define it that way. but it seems so.) i'm getting contradictry, ain't i? there ain't anyone else online, so yeah. it isn't that all noisy and all. i just hope for some kinda miracle now. i don't know for what, but i just want to see that miracle.
ah wells. it's not like as if i don't ever see miracles happening. i just wish i could just sleep and pour out everything that's in my heart to God now. or to just someone. sometimes you just feel that life isn't fair at all, and you suffer injustice. but somehow, these feelings come and go lke wind. heh. i sound so illogical. hm. going for the church's audition for the coming week i think. i have this weird feeling that i'll gatecrash it or something! cos me and my wonderful friend haven't signed up for it. gee, i hope i don't break the windows. haha. maybe i won't. but i think it's really fun to be in the choir. eh, not in the school one, that is(:
gonna cut hair. mm. hope i look okayy after that! hm, my clay aiken cd wouldn't be back till dec. so well, just gonna stick to lousy hoobastank and wait patiently for the corrs and clay aiken to come back. (:

happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me.
may all my wishes and dreams come true. but ain't that silly.

happy birthday to me.

wishful hopes.

2004-08-06T18:28:00.000+08:00

darn. i'm feeling really sick. and i hope i ain't that sick cos i've got so much to do! i've got a shopping marathon to do, to go for cell discussion about the party and stuff, and yeah. i want more pressies! well, this year couldn't be more special than the past few cos of the sec ones who made my day colourful, nonetheless- my darlings; (they know who they are) my sweet lovely twin. and two good friends. hm, it's hard to express what kind of happiness i'm having right now at this moment. ah wells, i'm weird. heck, i think i need more 3M plasters. hehh.
it's been a fun day... at school. i don't ever find school interesting, 'cept when there's some kinda celebration kinda thing. yup. and what, the indiandance was darn cool. sharmila danced a helluva lot. and she rockked. as well as the other girls.(: hm, and i think being in red for a day isn't that bd eh? :D cos red rocks. but i just don't like wearing them. contradicting? of course.

i need more of You in my life
cos You're the only one that saved me
You're the only one that picked me,
no matter how bad, how injured, and how dirty i was.
You didn't care about my past
You mould my future.

You hold me now, in Your loving hand
You are God,
and i love You more each day
for the little joys You've put in my life
You carried my burdens,
You lifted me high
You are truly, the one true God
over all the earth

it's funny to see how i can say how much i love God, but commit so much of sin. am i that bad? i wonder. if Man allows sin in his life, how can he say that he loves God? God is holy, blameless, and pure. but He literally allows us in His kingdom, let us know Him, communicate with Him, do lots of things even your closest friend can't do. that's one (or two) admirable points about God. i bet you He's so magnificient, you can't see Him properly! ah wells, maybe i should do everything without murmuring or complaining. so that i can be pure and blameless, with is hard in this society. but if i try, i can, cos i can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me(:

miss movie catching. oh wells. i missed every nice thing today. lemme cry hard on someone's shoulder..... please. i feel like crying....)':

i wishhhh.

happy happy!

2004-08-05T21:25:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling really happy today. maybe it's because i've gotten my first birthday pressie from two darlings. probably they thought i would like a Hoobastank cd, but i didn't but well, i just think i'll just try to like it as much as i like my darling F.I.R. they're wonderful. i pray hard that dee would bring it tml. oh God, remind her tml......
ah. and for report books. just as i thought i would get below my top ten position, i didn't. and i got my tenth position! heh heh. i'm darn happy. ah wells. as long as mr koh doesn't put any other mean and bad comments about me, i'll be darn okayy. hah. gosh, i haven't bought the friendship day pressies for my other seven darlings! ahhh........ i'm going to faint. hm, i hope i can go out on both days la huh. cos it's kinda.... wasteful to go out on both days, as well as taxing for my mum to fork out money for my expenses. gee, finally thinking about my monthly expenses, it's hard to raise me up. i think i should save big time eh? hehe.

my birthday is coming. ahh well. i have to buck up and push myself beyond my limits. i so have to buck up on my chinese, chemistry and stuffs. i so totally have to push from now on. no matter what, i need, and will have to do more revision, be more wordy, as well as doing whatever is necessary for my preparations for exams. i'm gonna do my best for this round and get another round of top ten in class.

Lord, teach me BIG-heartedness.

give thanks.

2004-08-04T17:56:00.000+08:00

just when i thought i would close this down, it happily worked all over again. darn, this sucks. i thought the mc i had yesterday was wasted, and it really was. and now i'm feeling darn sick this moment, cos it's like, i've got really bad cramps, and i don't wanna walk out of the room any further.
maths is equally boring as usual, i've got to do the bio file, and which, the class hasn't done any of it. the class ain't cooperating. oh God, please send me someone to convey the message. haha. then they'll all be thrown into a frenzy later. heh. who asked you to bring home your files? i thought i was dumb. but my classmates are dumber!
oOo. i like my layout. but.... how to change the font colour to like say.... baby pink or blue or yellow? i don't know the code for the colours. heck, i would rather say i suck at web designing. hm, if web designing was that easy, how come i didn't know how to do it? cos i'm not a very good one. i choose from the whole pool of skins. oh wells, as long as i like, it'll do very fine thank you.
and i've just observed a very weird thing, everyone that's online are either very happy, or upset over something. it seems like they're love struck or something like that. hah. i don't really seem to care, since i'm the one taking control of my own moods. oh wells. lemme see. i have only like a week to prepare for the jie mei thingy. seems like a good idea. like throwing whatever we want to barbeque into the Cold Storage trolley. and moreover, i ain't the one paying, am i? haha. or spliting the cost? God knows if i am. cos it's funny la, to have such a gathering with a to-be bride. but fun. whatever.... since i'm a professional socialiser after school hours. hahahaha.........

i wish to become a nurse. it's just nice to become that, don't you think? i think it's cool. helping others in saving lives is such a cool thing to do. or maybe be a servant to the people. don't you think it's worth serving them too? maybe can become a volunteer nurse in third world countries. very cool. there's so much i want to do. i want to watch movie, shop, eat, take neoprints.... stuff. and bring my daddy's digital camera on friday. so i can take photos with my sweet darlings. heehee. saturday my daddy's bringing too! cool. i like. hmm, i can't wait for saturday..... happy birthday.
i think i'll be celebrating on different days with different people. hee(: so fun. i like. don't you think? i think my mummy's the coolest. but not always. hm. report books are back.... i've got my top ten! i'm super happy.... thank God for that! i love my God. cos HE's super awesome. great. and wonderful. yay! i love my day((:

give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.

shopaholic?

2004-08-03T13:47:00.000+08:00

gee, if i ever go back to school tomorrow, i'll be skinned alive by everybody. anyway. this morning had a real bad migraine. and yeah. realised i haven't blogged in like days. oh whatever. i don't care. i've done a pleasantly shocking good job on sarah's blog. oh! and i just remembered i have art today! oops. i missed it once again(: wonderful. then i wouldn't have to hear Rita's horrifying shrieks and screamings once more. heh heh.
oh gosh. i missed out on so much to blog! hee. cos i was kinda lazy to get my butt here to blog and everything. hm, yesterday was super hilarious. maybe not very hilarious, just that i kept laughing when michelle was talking to this person; whom we called diahorrea boy, since he went to the toilet, and never did come back. from the toilet. hee(: then, talked to amy and her sweet darling... plus michelle's too.. heh. then it's so messy, i asked her to close some conversation windows. hah(:
heee.... sonic fest was pleasantly.... cool. okay, not very, but amy's church rocks. i mean, it's funny le. about three-quarters of the church grounds are closed or out of bounds. whatever. the main stage area was horribly muddy. and i was forced in there when the rest left. gee, no wonder my slippers are beautifully covered with mud. eeeeeewwww. it's disgusting.

hm. my special day is coming. i can't wait. i can't wait for that day! whhhoooott. i don't feel like doing anymore cpling le. i'm so tired. i want to stay home sleep for the whole day! heck, even for taf i wouldn't want to go. cos it's boring, tiring and dirty! ew. i wonder why did i have to be like that. so fat. shedding it is also a problem. yesterday was just telling pam that i want to be an anorexic, and i think that was quite a... cool thing. but later my throat pain la. hm. or just try eating more salads then. heh. i wonder what would help. slim 10? sure, take and go up there to see Papa. diaO.

shopping, a good therapy for ladies who can't seem to let anger out on anything. shopping, is also good for contributing to the economy, though it really doesn't make any logical sense here... and lastly, shopping has it uses for unspent and untouched, dusty, and stale money. heh. i ain't making sense here, but yeah, shopping is good. i want to just spend a whole day just walking (or shopping) the whole if orchard road. a wonderful experience, but no thanks, i would't want my feet to hurt that muchhhh. hee(:

i want to watch private parts the theatre show. but yeah, it's over, and no extra shows what. so in the end, it's gone. with miss suneeta in the arts side, and without mrs chin, it ain't that good anymore, like no more nice musicals... yadayada. mrs chin recommends good musicals! heh. and mrs lo, can't do art, keep thinking she's the best. then prove us wrong that you aren't what we see. whatever it is, i don't like the arts in school already. mrs chin rocks more cannn.
oh wells, whatever it is, i want to go do stuff le. ciaos.

i wish, for someone like you.

sighhhhing day.

2004-07-28T18:11:00.000+08:00

i just can't stand people who gimme attitudes. okay, not really don't like don't like, it's just, irritating. fine, i'm irritating as well, but hello? for the things i've sacrificed so much isn't worth at all? yeah, i guess, maybe it's because you want a new friend, tired of me, blah blah blah. i don't care. we don't suan ke. i mean, look, you keep telling us to eat shit. what about yourself? it's not fun, or cool to be pissed with one another. whatever it is, i just wanna say that if you are reading this, i am NOT suaning you or what. is because of your pissyness that i'm irritated.
i just can't stand it. grr. everyday fight fight fight, i sian already. i need to talk it out or i'll just.... explode. furthermore, i think i haven't been yeah, sens***ve enough. (i didn't wanna type that word out, so yeah.) sigh. but it's getting a hang outta me, i haven't been talking to her much, i haven't been liking her much, either. at first it was pure fun. but now, it's pure irritation. like what the *. sigh. if only she weren't pissed everyday for every no rhyme of reason. fine. say i'm petty, i don't mind. cos you're the one that made me cry and worried for no rhyme of reason too.
i don't like mrs tay anymore. she's just one irritating woman i've ever seen in my life. thank God mrs khoo didn't mind. if she did, i would have taken her words and cried my eyes out. okay, but it doesn't seem right to just want to cry cos of her lousy and stupid comments on the darn presentation. shucks, vanessa didn't even see the presentation and you want her to click? gee, i also don't know. it's a last minute decision that left me lost for words; i just sat there nothing to retort back to her. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
all that is written, all that is said, i leave it unto Your hands, O Lord, for You gave me peace. (doesn't make sense, does it?)

craps, but it rocks.

2004-07-26T21:35:00.000+08:00

the cherry is sour. haha. that was to describe sabrina. gawd. if mich was in school today, she would have seen how sour cherry was! usually, cherries are SWEET, but today, it's exceptionally sour. and yeah. we saw people that we didn't want to see, which was utterly, horrid. and i had to call the terrible enemy of two years. ew. and i so do not like that.
i don't know why, but i'm just so into Ashlee Simpson. she looks prettier than Jessica. but oh wells, i don't care. cos she ain't that a good singer either. and it's quite a dumb song too. haha. fading and waiting till you can't sleep? sometimes i feel that. but wells, i'm crapping so much i can't seem to stop, cos it's just the correct time to crap. my blog is uniquely filled with tons of crap, and especially the diaryland one. it's funny your see your archives, and read them one by one. my blog don't seem to link me to my archives. but wells, who likes reading your archives unless you're somebody checking out someone you don't know(: haha. it's stupid, but hey, we do really weird things sometimes!
weird things i've done. hmm, not hard to think. i tripped while walking on the stairs today, keep singing the F.I.R songs, and becoming sleepy at the wrong time. gee, stuff happened today. gonna learn skating after so much of running. lalalal. finally. and i can skate with everybody... stuff la. oOo. and i can ice skate easier? maybe. haha.
the music is darn funny. keeps stopping till i'm irritated. whatever. i want my cds back. and tomorrow, we have another great time of art. phew, i can survive each demanding class of art with Rita every tuesday! and i thank God for that. i like august, not too hot, not too cold. well sometimes it is really hot, but whatever, since i like celebrating my birthday every year. this year would be a different one. i hope. well, i haven't any idea what can i do. ohh wells, let time decide for itself. hm, it's just so wonderful to have so much money you saved up. accomplished, and happy that i've finally got money to buy for eunice chow a paul frank wallet, which so totally costs forty over dollars. amazing. and she's geting me the notebook. the Jordani one i think. yeah. i like. then ask dee draw. hm, maybe just a medium sized one would look really nice, cos too big i haven't any idea what to do and how to decorate it! haha. (: i miss the malacca trip. but i'm looking forward to the china trip. mm. then can shop in bangkok for two days or so. i like! oOo. maybe i'll just get eunice nice from Siam Square. gee, i've got no idea what to get! too far. hm! i wanna sit on the yak again. cool cool. but the toilets are really horribly smelly, and they have no doors. gee, i complain too muchh! haha((:
oh wells. just want to sit back and enjoy the times i spend here with God, but i ain't much time left, cos He's coming back, but it's fast, time runs out. i wish i could spend more, but with my schedule, i pray hard that i can. :D i love my Papa.((:

cherry is sour, but i'm sweet, cos Papa made me that way. :D

2004-07-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

Favourite Animal: neutral can? i just don't feel for them(:
Favourite Colour: black. white. silver. dark red or just red. purple. orange. yellow.
Favourite Country: maldives. bangkok. singapore.
Favourite Phrase: it's a matter of preference, not choice.
Favourite Number: two?
Favourite Hobby: no preference. cos everything i do, i enjoy(:
Favourite Time Of The Day: morning or night. whichever.
Favourite time in ur life: hmm. that's hard. maybe it's with a loved one lor.
Favorite Songs: Glory of Love. Sweeter. Thank You for loving me.
What Do You Hate Most?: creepy crawlies.
What Do You Love Most?: look what i like on the left hand side(:
Who would you like to be with when you are sad: no one. i'm a loner. hah! kidding. mich. eunice. sappy. ew. jj!
What would you do when you are bored?: sleep. cos no matter who i text, nothing comes back):
Would you forgive the person u like no matter how many times he/she had hurt u?: yeah, cos forgiving is loving. ain't it?
Would you like to try bungee jump?: yeah! and try reverse bungee too. fun!
Have you ever tried to forget the one you love but you just can't do it?: i think so le. (:
Ever drop a tear for a girl or boy before?: hm. when i'm upset lor.
Did you confess to a girl or boy before?: nahh. why?
What is your first reaction when a girl or boy confess to you?: don't have, unfortunately.
Last foul word you have scold: okayy, i was really upset with everything i wanted to say the f* word badly. (:
When was the last time you ever say LIFE SUX or LIFE ROCKS: i didn't say. i wrote it and showed somebody.
Life Sux Or Rocks?: i don't know. haven't really experienced all of it yet.
Admire a person before?: duhhh-
For how long did you like a guy or girl?: i don't know. it happened long ago.
What was the most dangerous thing you haveever done?: crossing the road without looking at the cars.
who is the last person you chat with on the phone?: no one. if it was text, it would be ssp.
Not more den one sentence to describe urself?: a wonderful-caring-egoistical-crazy-smart-but-bimbotic princess and friend.
Believe in horoscope?: nah. didn't you listen to yahui's teaching?
Caught in the middle before?: as in?
Try loving and hating at the same time?: that's hard. either you love or you hate. where got both?!
Scared of heights?: sometimes.
What instrument can you play?: drums, and a little guitar.
What instrument you wish to learn?: cello. keyboard. saxophone. and the clarinet.
What was the longest time you ever wait for urfriend: ONE HOUR. whose fault? SARAH SAM. jk!
Worth dying for your friend?: yeah. die faster, see God faster what. haha.
Worth dying for the one you love?: yeah. ditto.
Worth dying for ur family?: hmm, sometimes la.
Safety or Risky: both. you need both in your life, don't you think?
Hot or Cold: warm. or just breezy la.
Black or White: black.
Noon or Midnight: midnight.
Morning or Afternoon: morning.
Back or forth: both. back has sentimental feelings. forth is like moving on, so ya.
Credit card or cash: cash. though you run out of them fast.
Condo or Bungalow: condo. bungalow so much to clean up!
BMW or Ferrari: bmw. smoother. but the RX lexus is nicer!
Soccer or Basketball: soccer. not into basketball(:
Life or Death: life. cos got more to complete for God, but death means i can see Him. haha. *contradictry*
English or Chinese: english. but chinese songs are nice!

your smile.

2004-07-23T13:25:00.000+08:00

oO. i'm listening to the F.I.R song in karene's blog. heh heh. i don't know how to put music into the blog, heck, i don't even get to host it anywhere. so that's why i make use of her music! haha(: that was really dumb.
yesterday was trying to blog, then the whole thing hung up. and it kinda pissed me off, cos iforgot what i said. argh. oh wells. wednesday was darn fun. i wore a sari... so cool! then wore salma's baju kurong. then the skirt is so nice! haha. rocks. anyway. it's darn fun yesterday too. got some artistic award. gee, i'm artistic? weird!
okayy, so blogspot is also weird. i'm beginning to accept the fact that i'm really broke now. with minimal savings, i can't buy anything, much less to buy for eunice a PF wallet. boy, i guess i'm starting to be broke. hahaha.
oOoO. F.I.R coming on sunday. maybe i'll go with sweetie pamela to get their signatures. heehee. if not then i'll see that she has and i don't have, i'll be really pisssed off! haha. jk(: so into this jk-ing tingy that i can't stop. lke some addiction like that. haha.
i miss somebody, yeah, but i can't say it like darn loud, or else michelle would be really pissed off or worse, she'll make fun. pooh! Koh Shuwen is irritating. hahaha. sorry, but i so do not like him. argh. she's mean. and i get to read stef's seventeen mag on monday, and keep it for the rest of the time. heeheehee. hope this doesn't screw and get posted:D

ni de wei xiao.

God's love for us.

2004-07-21T15:54:00.000+08:00

God's Love for us
One day I woke early in the morning to watch the sunrise. Ah, the beauty of God's creation is beyond description. As I watched, I praised God for His beautiful work. As I sat there, I felt the Lord's presence with me. He asked me, "Do you love me?" I answered, "Of course, God! You are my Lord and Saviour!"
Then He asked, "If you were physically handicapped, would you still love me?" I was perplexed, I looked down upon my arms, legs and the rest of my body and wondered how many things I wouldn't be able to do, the things I took for granted. And I answered, "It would be tough, Lord, but I would still love You."
Then the Lord said, "If you were blind, would you still love my creation?" How could I love something without being able to see it? Then I thought of all the blind people in the world and how many of them still loved God and His creation. So I answered, "It's hard to think of it, but I would still love you."
The Lord then asked me, "If you were deaf, would you still listen to my word?" How could I listen to anything being deaf? Then I understood. Listening to God's Word is not merely using our ears, but our hearts. I answered, "It would be tough, but I would still listen to Your word."
The Lord then asked, "If you were mute, would you still praise My Name?" How could I praise without a voice? Then it occurred to me: God wants us to sing from our very heart and soul. It never matters what we sound like. And praising God is not always with a song, but when we are persecuted, we give God praise with our words of thanks. So I answered, "Though I could not physically sing, I would still praise Your Name."
And the Lord asked, "Do you really love Me?" With courage and a strong conviction, I answered boldly, "Yes Lord! I love You because You are the one the true God." I thought I had answered well, but God asked, "then why do you sin?" I answered, "Because I am only human. I am not perfect." "Then why in times of peace do you stray the furthest? Why only in times of trouble do you pray in earnest? "
No answers. Only tears.
The Lord continued: "Why only sing at fellowships and retreats? Why seek Me only in times of worship? Why ask things so selfishly? Why ask things so unfaithfully?" The tears continued to roll down my cheeks.
"Why are you ashamed of Me? Why are you not spreading the good news? Why in times of persecution, do you cry to others when I offer My shoulder to cry on? Why make excuses when I give you opportunities to serve in My Name?"
I tried to answer, but there was no answer to give.
"You are blessed with life. I made you not to throw this gift away. I have blessed you with talents to serve Me, but you continue to turn away. I have revealed My Word to you, but you do not gain in knowledge. I have spoken to you but your ears were closed. I have shown My blessings to you, but your eyes were turned away. I have sent you servants, but you sat idly by as they were pushed away. I have heard your prayers and I have answered them all."
"Do you truly love me?"
I could not answer. How could I? I was embarrassed beyond belief. I had no excuse. What could I say to this? When my heart cried out and the tears had flowed, I said "Please forgive me Lord, I am unworthy to be Your child."
The Lord answered, "That is My Grace, My child."
I asked, "Then why do you continue to forgive me? Why do you love me so?"
The Lord answered, "Because you are My creation. You are my child. I will never abandon you. When you cry, I will have compassion and cry with you. When you shout with joy, I will laugh with you. When you are down, I will encourage you. When you fall, I will raise you up. When you are tired, I will carry you. I will be with you till the end of days, and I will love you forever."
Never have I cried so hard before. How could I have been so cold? How could I have hurt God as I had done?
I asked Jesus, "How much do you love me?" Jesus answered, "This much" as He stretched His arms and died on the cross for me. (And you too!)
I then bowed down at the feet of Christ, My Saviour. And for the first time, I truly prayed.

it's really refreshing to see this story again and again. like you know that God's grace is abundant and take it for granted. i do, and sometimes, i wonder if i should have done that. gee, it's wordy. better go make a little food to just freshen up my empty tummy. haha(: i love my God.

cos You're awesome.

i hate being that.

2004-07-19T18:57:00.000+08:00

it's really amazing to see how far i could walk in heels. and two soles covered with irrtating blisters. it's funny to see how your phone is shared between so many people, and at least one of them is using it. for example, michelle, she uses my phone like more than once yesterday, only to find out all her messages were to someone from planet earth. i was increasingly shocked when she used my phone for over an hour, thereafter, using more of it. so i'm very very fortunate to have such a wonderful friend to just spend great money for me on my bills, and get scolded by my parents la. see how they each love me.
was kinda late for this art thingy. guess what? some very smart asses just gave me the wrong info and i ended up late. guess who.
saw miss kang at the maxwell food centre (where we ate our brunch.) and she was quite fuuny, like cannot get our hint yeah. in any case, stef is a real smart nutcase who waves at people spastically. ok, not very spastically, but spastic enough for us to say wah liew. (: whey. i not scolding you stef:D chill.
becoming increasingly smarter, increasingly annoying, and increasingly wordy. and i don't. i repeat, don't like being wordy. yesterday took neoprints twice, and were seeing this weird album with neos in it. guess who we see? slowly guess, cos we also saw an SMSS CF '04 whom i literally am sure who are the people who wrote it. increasingly smarter? i would agree with it(:
sabby's dad is much better, and yeah, went out till kinda late. and i am becoming increasingly provoking. provoked sab, mich and even people too, cos i'm really, increasingly annoying. and provoking. oh. and when we went to town, we took train. hash, dee, sarah and pam were in this green cabin, while me, mich, stef and amy were in this blue cabin. told them we going off at orchard, but seems like somerset makes a better choice. so we went off, stef called the rest. hash was the last one to get out, but didn;t manage to get out. hahaha. so she gave a mid. and we told her to go back. hahah. damn funny.
and i'm really tired. and i don't wanna do the things i see and i have to do. i try to accomodate, but seems like i can't take it. my brain's really killing me, and i wanna break down and cry. i wonder why am i so straight forward and all. i cannot force myself to accept this kind of horrid character and live with it all my life, cos i know i'll hate myself, as well as people hating me (well of course not, but that's really true.). this sort of feeling can change, but i wonder why is there something depriving me from that change. i'm getting wordy, and i just can't seem to end cos what i really feel like doing now is to ask God to just tell me what in the world is really wrong with my attitude, and just scold me or what.
i'm really weird, and i just feel like crying cos i really feel darn sad, and i ain't got anything to just pull me outta that s*.

God save me.

crazy little girl.

2004-07-17T13:43:00.000+08:00

My japanese name is Nakashima (center of the island) Ayumi (walk, deeper meaning: walk your own way).

sorry, is it really screwed? gee, my htmling purpose has gone and has been eaten up by some monster. haha. i've been thinking about it, and i decided that i would change my layout one to two weeks later, cos this is really screwed. sorry for inconvenience cause ya? haha. love you all sweeties.
actually, this new blogspot thing y is really getting on my nerves. haha. like what the! ohh wells. this jap name thingy just like thought of doing it, on karene's blog. it's really funny, i don't stay in the centre of the island. and i don't really walk my own ways, cos i walk in the ways of God the Father, though i always maintain what i always want to say. haha(: ohh wells. this is really funny. and somebody has been messaging me again, and that's something to be really smiling about, and miss rachel's got msn(: heehee. oh! and maths was okayy:D and what else. i don't like blogging anymore. ):
just being really glad in the house of God.

2004-07-16T23:39:00.000+08:00

my new layout is so weird, again. and it's really scrweing up. i would jsut want the one that i saw before i went on with blogspot. ohh wells. lets just hope i can see what you tagged. heh heh.
finally, i'm texting the person. who seems really hot. haha. kidding. tml i'm going out with stef? i don't know. maybe not. then i'll just go on sunday then. and watch Sisters in thai and all. scare the wits outta me. gee, somebody asked me not to watch show first. weird, but who knows.(:
ohh wells. maybe i'll just wait and see. (:

2004-07-16T13:36:00.000+08:00

blogspot is so cool now! like totally. i can upload images here also no problems. ohh wells. i think yesterday's pasta wasn't at all nice, and i caused people to have diahorrea. and i'm such a bad kid. sigh. ohh wells. i better pray everyone is well.
here i am at home, typing, while the others are at shcool. and don't know what nots they are doing now. i think now is bio. checking the files. whee! but the nausea is driving me crazy. ohh wells. the hillsongs dvd is playing.... hee. very nice!
the computer is taking freaking long to upload the file. maybe i must have patience. and i'm chaging layout again. haha. this picture reminds me of the lost sheep. oh wells. the tingy is really weird. and yeah. in the end i didn't upload the file. cos it's hard to, and my pics are really hard o find on the uploading browser.
it's a happy day. and i heard something yesterday. oh well. maybe i'll just wait for one day lor. pray!

i belong to You.

sleep retreat.

2004-07-15T23:27:00.000+08:00

oh gosh. i really want a sleep retreat all the way into somewhere nice, and romantic. gee, why romantic got spelt out? shucks. oh wells. Amazing Race rocks. totally. i can't seem to understand the point why some people just like to take stuff. i mean as in photos. coool eh. and F.I.R is coming to westmall on sunday... cool... and i like... heehee. i'm going crazy le. and my headache's painful. don;t wanna rely on panadol. hope i don't wanna.

sighhs

2004-07-15T21:16:00.000+08:00

i tried blogging really long entries and they got erased when the computer just screwed. maybe i can;t complain that much, if not it'll shut down by itself again. anyways. yesterday had pastor glenn speak in chapel. very cool! heee(: the SE band was in the hall practicing then we kinda heard them in the theatrette. that is so cool. :D lots of speakers and yada yada.(;
i'm so rushing out so many letters. and i'm doing one for molene now. just after school went out with susanna, dot, ash, samantha, cress, amy and sab. i got onto the bus that didn't go to bukit timah, and i got a little scolding from that! haha. like what the! hee:D
anyway. i think english was good, by God's grace. and He's way cooler than anyone of us. got lotsa powers! i simply adore my God, and i will worship Him all my days. SE band played nice cool songs. and to me, using my perfect talent to praise God is better than anything in the world, and as Pascale shared today, we need to use our time properly. and i think God has really used her to be His faithful servant!!
gosh i'm really prasing everyone. but ohh wells. praising someone is almost the same as praising God, ain't it? i guess so, since Man was created by God, and we are all God's child. and i have this weird feeling that my tag board would be spammed sooner or later. sighh. what am i thinking, what am i doing, why can't i be the one that God really uses to bless, not say bad stuff, insensitive and everything?! i screw. totally. i don't like myself. and thus, i conclude that i, have turned back to the past and living in it again. what am i doing? i don't know, and i aren't sure either. cos whatever i do ain't right and ain't good in anyone's eyes.

i wish this all ain't happening, but it did, and i guess, real friends pick up each other from their falling off points.